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July 2025

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CATWOMAN #50

DC (1997)

COVER: Jim Balent

CATS IN THE NIGHT

SCRIPT: Doug Moench

PENCILS: Jim Balent

INKS: Robert Campenella & Sal Buscema

THE COVER:

Gritted teeth, tiny feet, armor. Yep. . .this is definitely a 90s comic. You can tell without even opening it up. That said, it's a pretty cool cover. You can't really tell because gimmick covers are hard to scan, but the whole grey tone background is actually shiny silver ink with Catwoman, the title, and the splash on top. It's a nice contrast. The purple and yellow really goes well with the silver ink.

I'd go so far to say that this might be one of my favorite 90s gimmick covers. It never makes any "Top Ten" lists, but in MY book it's a winner! Let's get inside this thing.

THE STORY:

We begin our tale with Catwoman in her element, at night on a rooftop, on her way to steal some diamonds. She thinks the caper is going to be a cakewalk. . .but what kind of comic book fun is THAT?

Out of nowhere, she's targeted by a missile that narrowly misses her! The explosion briefly knocks Catwoman unconscious. When she wakes, confused, she tries to find the source of the attack and fails. As she's deciding whether or not to continue with the planned theft, she's attacked again!

Catwoman immediately recognizes her attacker. . .Cyber-Cat! She'd recently had a run-in with her during a job at a Syntex lab (a few issues previously) and now it looked like Cyber-Cat was out for revenge!

Catwoman desperately fights for her life against her armored attacker, but it's definitely a one-sided battle as Cyber-Cat brutally beats on her, blaming Catwoman for humiliating her during their first encounter. Catwoman knows there's no way she's winning the fight, and so she decides to run. . .

Catwoman manages to elude Cyber-Cat, who shouts that she's not going to stop hunting Catwoman until she has her revenge with the thief's death. Catwoman knows that Cyber-Cat means it, and she won't be able to go back to business as usual until the armored menace is dealt with. . .but in her current state, that's not happening.

As Cyber-Cat leaves the scene, Catwoman carefully follows her. . .discovering her hidden base. But at the moment, she's in no shape to do anything about it.

We cut away from Catwoman and Cybercat for a bit of exposition!

A Syntex scientist is being interrogated by two mysterious Men in Black. We learn that Cyber-Cat is a former Syntex scientist as well, named Christina Chiles. She left Syntex two weeks previously and took an experimental suit of Cortically Amplified Technid armor (C.A.T. Get it? Get it? GET IT!?) with her.

The armor was still in its testing phase and only matched to Chiles' brainwave patterns, so she was the only person who could use it. The scientist being interrogated believes that Chiles is convinced she's still testing the armor and using her vendetta against Catwoman to do so.

Switching back to Catwoman, she makes her way to the mansion of one of her underworld contacts. . .a wealthy dwarf known as Zee. She informs him that the job was a failure and that she's in some serious trouble that only a mutual acquaintance named Clutterbuck can help her with.

Clutterbuck is Catwoman's go-to tech expert. She tells him about Cyber-Cat and asks him to put something together to even the fight. Clutterbuck agrees to take on the job, but it will take a couple of days.

Catwoman returns to her apartment to rest, recuperate from her wounds, and lay low as her alter-ego Selina Kyle while she's waiting for Clutterbuck to come through for her.

While Selina waits for Clutterbuck, she decides to work a bit on her budding relationship with Detective Morland McShane. . .a cop who is obsessed with taking down Catwoman and an unlikely choice of romantic partner. Selina is unsure of whether or not to continue building the relationship. And if she does, will it be to stay close to her most persistent hunter, or to try to make an honest go of it?

Okay. . .character development over. Back to sexy supercrime action!

But first, I'd just like to point out that, while Jim Balent is one of the better DC 90s artists, he can't draw cats. . .which would seem to be sort of a bad thing in a CATWOMAN comic.

BUT I DIGRESS!

After several pages of out-of-costume character development and setup for conflict in issues to come, Selina returns to Clutterbuck to take a look at what he's come up with to even the odds against Cyber-Cat.

It's a shiny new high-tech suit of 90s armor, of course!

BEHOLD!!

Now THAT'S 90s!

Catwoman isn't so sure about the idea, but Clutterbuck manages to convince her. After all, it was rush job, built in two days on a shoestring budget by a weirdo living in a junkyard. What could possibly go wrong?

So Selina pays Clutterbuck and takes the armor out for some practice. . .including an obligatory "Knightfall Era" reference to Batman's new armor. She figures if it works for him, it will probably work for her.

Once she's got the feel for her shiny new 90s makeover, Catwoman decides to forget about her usual stealth and cunning and goes for a full frontal attack on Cyber-Cat's hidden base!

Once inside, Catwoman finds the warehouse empty, but as she investigates, she triggers a trap and is attacked by two remote mini-robotic tanks! Catwoman tries to escape, but eventually finds herself cornered and desperately fighting against the heavily-armed robots. She manages to destroy them, but is confronted by Cyber-Cat. . .

Cyber-Cat is enraged by Catwoman's destruction of her expensive robotic guards. But, at the same time, is happy that instead of having to hunt Catwoman again, she's come to her.

Catwoman tries to talk to Cyber-Cat, but she's not having it. . .the fight is ON! DING-DING-DING!

Over the course of the next seven pages, Catwoman and Cyber-Cat engage in brutal battle. . .trading the advantage back and forth several times as they both use every trick in their armor suits to gain the upper hand.

The battle rages back and forth until Catwoman finally deals Cyber-Cat a crippling blow. . .a massive explosion that sets Cyber-Cat on fire and causes her systems to eject her burning armor, leaving the woman inside. . .Christina Chiles, exposed to the victorious Catwoman!

With Chiles no longer being Cyber-Cat, but a sobbing and exposed woman denied her revenge, Catwoman tells her to never come after her again or she'll finish the job. She leaves the scene of the fight just as the mysterious men in black arrive to take Chiles into custody.

- read more

I did it again. I've had this review posted on my blog for about a week before I realized I forgot to post it here. Apologies to Comic Book Realm!

Welcome to Longbox Junk, the place to find all the comic book reviews you never asked for!

I have a strange love for comic book tie-ins to stuff. Movies, T.V. shows, video games, toys, what have you. I just really like it when a comic book is able to move beyond what's already there.

I think maybe of all the comic tie-ins, the most successful in MY estimation is probably Star Wars. Back in the day when all we had were a couple of movies, the Star Wars comics definitely scratched that "I want more!" itch. And truthfully, they still do.

But we ain't talking about Star Wars!

The comic at hand is a tie-in to an 80s action movie called Black Diamond. A sort of female James Bond movie, if you will. A globe-trotting adventurer pulling off crazy spy missions under the cover of being an internationally-famous model. Starring one of the most successful of the 80s "B-Movie Queens", Sybil Danning. Sounds decent, right?

But the movie never got made. There's just this short comic tie-in series (5 issues, but I've only ever seen this one) to even indicate that it ever WAS going to be made. There's literally no information on the internet about Black Diamond beyond the dry creator and publication details for this comic.

So there's no Black Diamond movie. But we DO have this comic. Let's check it out!

BLACK DIAMOND #1

AC/Americomics (1983)

COVER: Bill Black

THE COVER:

I like it! The bold red background really grabs the eye and sets off both the giant title at the top and the nicely-done portrait of Black Diamond in the middle. Yeah, the spike heels ARE a bit ridiculous, but the rest of this cover is really engaging. definitely a very nice cover. It makes me want to get inside and see what's going on, so let's do that!

THE STORIES:

For an 80s comic, this issue is pretty packed. Of course, two bucks back in '83 WAS a pretty stiff price, but for your two dollars you get two full stories (Really parts 1 and 2 of a continuing story), a shorter five page comic story, and several one and two page features introducing characters and talking about the upcoming movie that never got made.

All that AND a sexy promotional photo poster of Sybil Danning as Black Diamond!

Bewb-Tastic!

Like I said, this thing is PACKED for an 80s comic! Let's check it all out. . .

THE DARKFIRE AFFAIR: GAUNTLET

SCRIPT: Bill Black

PENCILS: Bill Black

INKS: Bill Black

THE STORY:

Before we get into the story proper, we get a one page black and white introduction to Black Diamond, courtesy of the one and only Paul Gulacy (who apparently also did the rest of the covers of the series beyond this first issue).

We start off with a flashback to a year previous to the current story. Black Diamond has infiltrated the security of a Quansa (a worldwide criminal organization) in order to obtain a file of Quansa moles working as double agents in her own agency, Infocom Three.

After making her escape with the file, she discovers to her horror that her lover, Jack Burton, is one of the double agents! She knows that she'll have to be the one to take him down.

We move forward to the present day. Black Diamond is given a new assignment from her Infocom Three superior. She's to go to New York City and investigate the presence of an elite group of female Quansa mercenaries called the Valkyrie Unit. . .led by a ruthless woman named Vanessa Cord, AKA Darkfire.

Their being in New York signals that Quansa is up to something big, and Black Diamond needs to be there to take it down!

Before Black Diamond even gets out of her apartment and on her way to the airport, she's attacked by one of Darkfire's mercenaries. Black Diamond realizes that somehow, Darkfires knows she's on the job, so there must still be moles in Infocom Three.

At the airport, Black Diamond is attacked by three more Valkyrie Unit mercenaries. As she fights them through the airport, Black Diamond wonders just what could be big enough for Darkfire and Quansa to risk such a public display.

After beating the three Valkyrie mercenaries, Black Diamond is forced to evade the authorities by way of an impromptu disguise in order to board her plane to New York.

To be continued. . .

THE REVIEW:

Okay. . .not bad. Not great. Not anywhere close to great, but not bad. The story has a feel to it that reminds me of some of the Silver Age spy/action comics I've read. Like something Dell or Gold Key would have put out. Or maybe like DC's I-Spy. The dialogue is pretty cheesy and quippy, but there's a certain charm to it, a certain throwback quality that I can't really fault too much.

The art also has a Silver Age throwback look to it. There's no real standout moments, but there's no really bad spots either. It helps tell the story, but doesn't try to do anything beyond that. . .which also reminds me a lot of a Silver Age non-superhero comic books I've read.

All in all, it's a decent, but forgettable story that really throws off some Silver Age comic vibes.

NEXT!

BLACK DIAMOND

(Two page text feature with photographs)

SCRIPT: Bill Black

What we have here is a bit of background on Sybil Danning and some of her upcoming roles, including pretty much all the information to be found on the Black Diamond movie. It also tells how the comic book tie-in came into existence. It's pretty interesting, and also pretty cool that they included something like this.

NEXT!

THE DARKFIRE AFFAIR: MINDTRAP!

SCRIPT: Bill Black

PENCILS: Mark Beachum & Bill Black

INKS: Bill Black

THE STORY:

Continuing from the first part of the story (above), we join Black Diamond on the flight to New York, where she's asleep and dreaming of the past. After discovering that her lover and fellow agent Jack Burton is a double agent, Black Diamond is assigned to take him down.

After confronting him with the truth, Black Diamond shoots Burton with a knockout dart. Instead of killing him, she plants criminal evidence on him and leaves him for the authorities.

Arriving in New York, Black Diamond goes to the secret headquarters of Infocom Three for a meeting with its head, General Van Pelt. At the meeting, Van Pelt reveals that Darkfire (from part one, above) is involved with a Quansa plot to steal an experimental mind control device.

Their strongest lead indicates that the device was tested on another Infocom Three agent at a New York warehouse. Black Diamond immediately leaves to investigate.

At the warehouse, a group of Darkfire's mercenaries wait to spring a trap on Black Diamond, but she gets the on them. After fighting her way through the mercenaries, she confronts the last one and demands answers.

The mercenary kills herself as Black Diamond watches in shock. A nearby video screen comes on and Darkfire informs Black Diamond that she's just witnessed the power of the mind control device, and that Darkfire plans on using it on Black Diamond, so that the secret agent will be the instrument of destruction for Infocom Three!

Darkfire triggers explosives, demolishing the warehouse as Black Diamond narrowly makes her escape. Outside of the burning building, Black Diamond wonders why Darkfire seems to have a personal vendetta against her. All she really knows is that the Quansa mercenary needs to be stopped at any cost!

Coming next. . .Black Diamond in SPAAAAAAAAACE!

THE REVIEW:

Once again, definite Silver Age comic vibes from both the story and art. For what it is, it's not bad. Unfortunately, it's not really that good, either. It's a pretty forgettable story that doesn't really grab me and make me want to see what's next, even WITH the promise of our heroine going into space in the next issue. And when a comic involving a hot blonde having spy adventures in orbit doesn't really interest me, that's a definite first issue failure.

Let's see what else this issue has to offer. . .

INTRODUCING COLT THE WEAPONS MISTRESS

SCRIPT: Don Secrease

PENCILS: Don Secrease

INKS: Bill Black

It's a one page introduction for the first appearance of a character that was a lot more popular for AC Comics than Black Diamond seems to have been. You can see the whole thing below, but basically, Colt is the daughter of a military arms expert who married a government agent and worked together as a husband and wife spy team until her husband was killed. Now Colt is a private agent looking for revenge.

Hmmmm. . .not much to say about this. The art is nice, but her special weapon, the "Clipper" seems to be a bit derivative of Judge Dredd's gun, the "Lawgiver". And when I say derivative, I mean it's pretty much exactly the same.

NEXT!

SQUEEZE PLAY

SCRIPT: Don Secrease

PENCILS: Don Secrease

INKS: Rick Burchett

THE STORY:

We begin in a meeting room at a government installation, where a group of high-ranking U.S. military officers are getting a presentation on a new experimental submachine gun. A presentation being given by the ridiculously-costumed Colt. Nobody says anything about the masked woman giving the presentation, for some reason. Just another day of government work, I guess.

When the class is returning from a break, a bit of excitement ensues when one of the government agents is found, shot and dying! Well, at least they don't have to go back to school now. Colt immediately takes charge of the situation and declares that she'll get to the bottom of this mystery!

A quick search of the building leads her to the men's room, where she finds a used Co2 cartridge. She returns later that night, laying in wait for the culprit to return to the scene of the crime. . .

It's one of the government officers that were at Colt's presentation. . .an agent Vawter. He's trying to steal the prototype SMG! As Vawter tries to make his escape, Colt manages to take him down.

Security guards rush in to take Vawter into custody. General Wyndon asks Colt how she knew who the double agent was. She tells him that from her examination of the dead agent, she knew the shooter was left handed. Vawter was the only left handed person at the presentation. Case closed!

The End.

THE REVIEW:

Like the Black Diamond story, I get a heavy Silver Age vibe when reading this story. It's completely ridiculous, but played completely straight at the same time. It's utterly forgettable, but sort of fun when you're reading it. Just like so many Silver Age comics I've read.

The art is actually quite a bit nicer than the Black Diamond art. The artist here at least tries a little harder to do something besides just tell the story. Maybe that's why Colt eventually became a pretty popular character for AC (with a decent role in their only really popular comic, FemForce).

Unfortunately, besides some decent art and a bit of goofy Silver Age-style fun, there's really not much more to it.

CONCLUSION

This is one of those weird comics where I can't really decide if I like it or not. That may seem a little strange, but it happens from time to time.

On the one hand, it's a pretty fun read. It has a goofy Silver Age comic feel to it. The art is decent. It's an interesting thing to have a comic tie-in to a movie that never got made. I like strange little artifacts like this. So I liked it, right?

But on the other hand, it's completely forgettable. The story is weak and doesn't make me want to pick up another issue. It's overall just sort of ridiculous and weird in equal measure. So I didn't like it, right?

See what I mean?

I GUESS if I have to pick a side of the fence, I'd say I liked it. But I didn't like it enough to recommend it as something to keep an eye out for. I like having strange comic artifacts like this in my collection.

I would only recommend it if you're also the kind of collector who likes having weird little things like this hanging out in your collection. Other than that, there's not much here you'll be missing if you skip this one.

Up Next. . .

HEY! Remember when Catwoman got an unfortunate 90s makeover, complete with a brand new suit of shiny armor? Longbox Junk remembers! Catwoman #50!

Be there or be square.

- read more

Welcome to Longbox Junk, the place to find all the comic reviews you never asked anyone for!

Not a bad Halloween Party so far. A few tricks, a few treats. Some nice costumes. Good fun!

This year, I've invited a special guest. . .someone we haven't had here yet since I started doing the Longbox Junk Halloween party. Let's welcome the one and only ELVIRA, MISTRESS OF THE DARK!

Elvira is a character that embodies the sillier side of Halloween. Love her, hate her, or indifferent, she's been an unavoidably campy fixture of the season for decades. Anyone with even a little bit of pop culture exposure knows who Elvira is. As far as comics go, she's had a pretty good run of four-color fun over the years.

Elvira's most recent comic home is at Dynamite, but there was a short time in the 80s when DC had the comic rights to the character and were trying to bank on Elvira's popularity as the hostess of a revival of their House of Mystery anthology series. It only lasted 11 issues and a Special, so. . .maybe NOT so popular after all?

Let's take a look at an issue and see what was going on, shall we? WE SHALL!

ELVIRA'S HOUSE OF MYSTERY #9

DC (1986)

THE COVER:

Love it! It has a campy pop art look to it that just makes it catch the eye. It sort of has the look of an old concert poster. The bright yellow background, the black and white photo of Elvira, and the giant mixed font lettering all combine to make this cover something that will NOT be ignored!

So, nice cover. Let's get inside and see what else this comic's got. . .

THE STORIES:

Two stories in this one, with a framing device that threads through the issue of Elvira finding an old film projector in a room of the House of Mystery and her watching movies she finds with it. Let's give each story its own turn. . .

LOST SOULS

SCRIPT: Darren Auk

PENCILS: Darren Auk

INKS: Victor Laszlo

When writer Jonathan Gray retreats to an old house in the country for privacy and inspiration, he finds himself having horrific nightmares of a murderous, living doll. As the nights go on, the dreams become more and more real until the beautiful landlady reveals to him that her grandfather is a vampiric spirit tormenting him, using his hellish powers to increase his fear and make it easier to steal his soul!

The landlady admits that she is also a vampiric spirit, a succubus, a stealer of men's souls! She begs Gray to help her destroy her grandfather, but as the demon's attacks begin to intrude on Gray's reality, he gives in to his fear and runs for his life, leaving the succubus behind to set fire to the house and destroy her grandfather. . .

In the end, Gray thinks he's escaped, but as he drives away, he is attacked by the killer doll in his car, proving that the succubus was not able to destroy her grandfather, and sealing his fate!

THE REVIEW:

Not a bad little story! It has a pretty timeworn "gotcha!" ending, but other than that, it's not bad at all.

It's not the greatest or most memorable comic horror story I've ever read, but it's a decent read.

On the art side of things, I liked Darren Auk's style. It has an interesting mix of realism and exaggeration that fits a story where the narrator loses his grasp of what's real and what isn't very nicely.

Overall, I liked this story quite a bit. It's well-written and has some nice art. What more could I ask for from a comic I bought for two bucks because of the cool cover?

MOVING ALONG!

DRINK LIKE A FISH

SCRIPT: Dennis Yee

PENCILS: Graham Nolan

INKS: Reuben Pharms

When Davy's friends taunt him for not joining in the party after a day at the beach, he decides to go against his doctor's orders and drink a beer. . .

The alcohol affects him in a strange way, transforming him into a reptilian creature! After he changes, Davy remembers that he is there on an assignment to observe the human land creatures, and the alcohol has neutralized the serum that allowed him to maintain his human disguise.

His true identity now revealed, he must reluctantly return to the sea, leaving behind his human life and the woman he came to love.

THE REVIEW:

This one is a bit of a dud. The emotion the writer tries to put into the end of the tale falls flat because the front end is rushed and there's no investment in the lovers cruelly separated by fate because we don't really get to know much about their relationship to start with. Okay, I get it. . .it's a short story. But even ONE extra page would have made it better.

On the art side of things, I know Graham Nolan from his work on Detective Comics. . .and this is NOT his best work at all. The whole story looks somewhat sketchy and unfinished.

Overall, this is just not a very good story at all. I guess they can't ALL be winners.

CONCLUSION

Honestly, the best part of this comic is the awesome pop art style cover.

The first story isn't bad. It's actually pretty good, with some interesting art to back it up. But ultimately, it's not the sort of story that's going to stick and be memorable. It's a decent read, but that's about as far as it goes.

Unfortunately, there's not much to like at all about the second story, which ends this comic on a sour note which hardly makes this comic seem worth the time to hunt down just for a good cover and a decent opening story.

All in all, this comic is definitely half and half. It has a great cover, a promising opening and a disappointing end. I say give it a read if you spot it in a bargain bin on the cheap, but don't spend much effort trying to hunt it down unless you happen to be a big Elvira fan (she only appears on a few framing story pages).

Up Next. . .

We're only halfway through October, so the Longbox Junk Halloween Horror party keeps going!

Be there or be square.

- read more

Welcome to Longbox Junk, where the comics are cheap and the reviews are free!

The Longbox Junk Halloween Horror 2022 party has just started, so let's keep it going!

This time out, the comic at hand is a horror anthology special from a publisher that has definitely carved out a niche in the "sexy cover" category of comics. Zenescope has the sort of covers that MIGHT get you a strange look from your wife if she sees you buying one. Talking from personal experience here.

But what's under that cheesecake cover? Is it worth your time and hard-earned cash?

Let's take a look and find out!

GRIMM TALES OF TERROR

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL 2019

Zenescope (2019)

COVER: Igor Vitorino

THE COVER:

Yep. That's a Zenscope cover. Looking at the variants for this issue, I see that I actually have the tamest of the bunch! Honestly, I like it. It could stand to tone the sexy down a bit, but I guess if it ain't broke, don't fix it. Zenescope knows their lane and keeps in it. It's nicely detailed, I like the muted colors a lot, and the scarecrow is actually pretty creepy. Not a bad cover. . .just not one to hang on the office wall.

THE STORIES:

Three stories in this one, all tied together with a framing story thread about Keres, (Zenescope's Goddess of Death), setting up a costume shop in a college town in order to bring punishment to those worthy of it running through the issue.

Let's take a look at each story in turn. . .

EVIL TATTOOS

SCRIPT: R. Alan

PENCILS: Butch Mapa

INKS: Butch Mapa

A bullied kid finally gets his revenge on his tormentors thanks to magical rub-on tattoos given to him by a woman at a mysterious costume shop that turn the bullies into twisted monsters.

THE REVIEW:

Not a great start. This first story is so light that it's almost not even there. From the title to the extremely basic artwork, this reeks of minimum effort. Hopefully, things will get better from here.

MOVING ALONG!

CAT AND MOUSE

SCRIPT: Raven Gregory

PENCILS: Umberto Giampa

INKS: Unberto Giampa

At a frat house Halloween party, a would-be predator finds himself being the prey when strange decorations bought at a mysterious costume shop summon an ancient vampiric demon in the form of a beautiful woman.

THE REVIEW:

*sigh*

Another extremely light story that seems to be more of an excuse to feature a scantily-clad woman through about half of the panels than anything else. At least the art on this one is much better than the first story. That's about the only thing to like here.

I'm not holding out high hopes for the last tale, but let's check it out!

THE HUNTER

SCRIPT: Ben Meares

PENCILS: Salvatori Cuffari

INKS: Salvatori Cuffari

A beautiful woman turns the tables on the stalker hunting her when she reveals that she was, in fact, hunting him the whole time.

THE REVIEW:

This is the second tale in this issue to follow the well-worn "Hunter becomes the prey" story path. This one actually pulls it off much better in the writing department, but takes a step back with the art. Although I DID like that the reader doesn't really know which point of view the story is being told from page to page, this is still a pretty forgettable effort.

CONCLUSION

Overall, this was a pretty weak excuse for a horror comic. There is a definite feeling through the whole thing that it's just a minimal effort excuse to put pages between the sexy cover that Zenescope was counting on being the selling point.

To be honest, nothing here was BAD, but nothing was really that good, either. The art in the second story and the writing in the third manage to reach the bar of "pretty good", but there's no effort to go any higher than that.

I think it's safe to say that most horror comic fans can go ahead and skip this one unless you happen to be a fan of sexy comic book covers (and there's nothing wrong with that). There's really not much here to like. I found this in a dollar box and that's right where it belongs.

Up Next. . .

That's right! MORE Longbox Junk Halloween Horror fun!

Be there or be square.

- read more

Welcome to Longbox Junk, the blog absolutely STUFFED with comic reviews nobody asked me to write!

In case you haven't noticed by now, I spend a LOT of time digging through bargain bins. I've noticed over the years that there are certain "staples" that no decent dollar box is ever missing. . .Image Comics is probably the biggest one of those staples.

If you are in a comic shop. . .it doesn't matter where that comic shop is. . .and you are going through a box of cheap comics, I GUARANTEE you're going to be finding some Image Comics. I'd put money down on that guarantee and not worry one bit about losing it.

What I'm saying is that when it comes to Longbox Junk, Image is the King of The Hill.

Now, don't get me wrong. Since their founding in the 90s, Image has matured into the publisher you go to when you get tired of the same old superhero stories, but back in the beginning it was ALL superhero ALL the time.

Image wanted to be Marvel SO badly, that when you read Image comics today, it's almost pathetic. Their trying to grab Marvel's fans is so obvious and so blatant that I'm surprised they didn't get sued over their barely-disguised versions of established Marvel characters.

THAT SAID. . .

While Marvel WAS Image's biggest "inspiration", DC was definitely on their radar as well. Image didn't have nearly the amount of DC "inspired" characters as they did Marvel, but they were there. Supreme for Superman, ShadowHawk for Batman, and Glory for Wonder Woman (among others).

Which brings us to the comic at hand!

Glory is a character created by Rob Liefeld in 1993. She's the result of a union between an Amazon Queen and a Demon Lord, raised by her mother among the Amazons and becoming their greatest warrior. She struggled with her dual nature and eventually left her home among the Amazons to live in the world of Man. . .first appearing as a heroine during World War II (Thanks, Wikipedia!).

See what I mean about Image's early characters being heavily "inspired" by established characters? How they managed to avoid a pile of lawsuits is a mystery to me. Obviously, from the description above, Glory is a blatant copy of Wonder Woman.

BUT. . .

I'm willing to give ANY comic a fair chance, and that's what I'm gonna do here. So let's take a closer look at Image's version of Wonder Woman and see if there's anything to like, shall we?

WE SHALL!

GLORY #1

IMAGE (1995)

WHO WROTE THE BOOK OF LOVE?

SCRIPT: Jo Duffy

PENCILS: Mike Deodato

INKS: Mike Deodato

COVER: Mike Deodato

THE COVER:

You want 90s? You GOT 90s with this cover! I don't even know where to start. This cover has a LOT going on. Unfortunately, not much of it's good. I DO like the black frame and the colors, but that's about it. It's not the worst example of 90s art that I've seen, but it certainly hasn't aged well. You can definitely see what Image was trying to sell here. Let's just say I'm glad we've (mostly) moved along from this sort of thing.

Let's get inside!

THE STORY:

We begin our tale in the middle of an ongoing conversation. Our titular hero, Gloriana Demeter (AKA Glory) is at a meeting with the board of Factor Cosmetics. Mr. Factors himself is trying to sell Glory on the prospect of being the spokeswoman for Factor's newest line of cosmetics. . .

Unfortunately for Mr. Factor, Glory doesn't seem to be interested in his somewhat offensive hard-sell technique. She tells him in no uncertain terms that he has nothing new to offer her, and that pleasing normal men isn't interesting to her any longer after having been with the superhuman Supreme. In the process, we get a brief bit of exposition on her decades-long superhero career during and after WWII. . .

Factors counters by telling her that the. . .ahem. . .Glory Days are long past and that she's no long a household name. In the meantime, outside the window, Glory's friend and Brigade teammate Leonard Swann (AKA Vandal) kills a strange bird. . .

We discover that the bird was a spy sent by Glory's father, the demonic Lord Silverfall, who is watching Glory from his hellish castle in the underworld. . .

Back in the Factor Cosmetic boardroom, Glory refuses Mr. Factor's offer. Factor does NOT take this well and begins to berate and harass Glory. . .perhaps unwise, when the object of Factor's attempted bullying is a superpowered half demon. A fight breaks out and Factor's bodyguard pulls a gun!

Glory punches the bodyguard through the window, where he is saved from falling to his death by another one of her Brigade teammates waiting for her below, Flanders Edison (AKA Rumble).

Glory leaves the meeting and joins her friends below. She tells them what happened, and they think she let them off too easily. The heroes leave the scene after Rumble changes back to normal size.

He tries to tell the other two about an antique arcane book he's discovered, but Glory and Vandal ignore him as Vandal tells Glory about the spy from Lord Silverfall he found. . .

As Rumble and Vandal leave to go get some food, Glory is ambushed by some sort of demonic creature!

The End. . .To Be Continued!

THE REVIEW:

Allright. There it is. The first issue of Image's Glory. Let's break it on down!

*Sigh* There's not much here to like, to be honest.

There's no real beginning to this story, as we're dropped right into the middle of a conversation. There's no real ending, with the issue just stopping at a cliffhanger surprise attack. What's in the middle is really very short and doesn't shed much light on who Glory is, what she's about, and why we should keep wanting to read about her.

I've laid out my personal expectations for the first issue of a comic series quite a few times already here at Longbox Junk, but to sketch them out again, I expect a first issue to introduce characters and their situations in a new reader-friendly way and to leave me wanting more. It's a pretty low bar.

Unfortunately, Glory #1 fails at both of these simple things. There's a LITTLE bit of information about Glory here, but not nearly enough to qualify as a decent introduction to a new reader. I had to go to Wikipedia to learn who the demonic guy watching her was (Her demon father, Lord Silverfall) and to learn that Glory is half Amazon and Half Demon. Her teammates just appear out of nowhere and I had to hit Wikipedia to find out who THEY were as well.

I feel sorry for new readers in 1995 who didn't have Wikipedia, because this is a pretty lousy introduction. It's obvious from the letters page to see that Image was fully expecting readers to go out and buy Brigade, Supreme, Youngblood, and several others in order to get the big picture. What we have here is just a fragment.

As far as leaving me wanting more, Glory #1 fails even harder than it did in giving me a decent introduction to a new character. After reading this and realizing I would have to dig into several other series to find out what's going on, I lost interest in ever wanting to know more about Glory.

There's a definite stench of money grab wafting out of this comic. From the cheesecake cover to the letter page listing out the *checks* TEN ISSUES from EIGHT different series you need to read to fill in the story past the fragment here, this whole thing reeks of a publisher trying to scrape every dollar they can from their fans.

CONCLUSION

Style over substance is good way to sum up this comic. It's basically a cheesecake cover hook baiting Image fans into buying the first issue of a series that doesn't even introduce the main character very well and gives them no incentive to read more without shelling out ten times the cash they've already spent on this issue.

If nothing else, Glory #1 serves as a perfect example of the desperation in Image's early sales tactics. Other than that interesting bit of insight into the strange days of 90s comics, there's really nothing else I can recommend about this beyond a few nice panels of art (like the double page spread of Silverfall's castle I scanned above). Maybe it gets better as it goes on, but this first issue leaves me completely uninterested in finding out if it does. Glory is a bargain bin mainstay, and now I see why.

Up Next. . .

He's a guy you do NOT want to see when he's angry.

Yeah, you know who I'm talking about. It's the one and only INCREDIBLE HULK!

I recently got my hands on a half dozen of Marvel's "The Hulk" magazines from the 1970s. What say we take a look inside one and see what's going on? Let's do it!

Be there or be square.

- read more

Welcome back to Longbox Junk, the blog stuffed FULL of comic reviews you never asked for!

Before we begin. . .

Sorry my posting schedule has become a bit spotty lately. As the chief bonehead managing a skeleton crew running a hotel, I'm working various shifts 6 days a week for the time being. It's a bit chaotic but at least I still have a job, which is more than a lot of people can say these days, so I ain't complaining.

ANYWAY. . .

The past couple months haven't exactly been a party, to say the least. There's no news but bad news. Heck, it's gotten to the point that I don't even want to read the paper or watch the news any more. I've got about 60 rolls of toilet paper in my house, and I don't even know why.

Keeping that in mind, I've decided to try and keep things on the lighter side here at Longbox Junk. There's not much that I can do about everything going on in the world, but hopefully MY small corner of the internet can be a place to visit and get your mind off of things for at least a few minutes. I think we can all sort of use a place like that now and then these days.

SO. . .

How about we take a look at a Pulp-Tastic IDW/DC intercompany crossover adventure featuring a team up between two of my favorite characters of all time. . .The Spirit and The Rocketeer?

It's The Spirit and The Rocketeer! Two of the most fun comic characters ever created.

How can this NOT be good?

LET'S DO IT!

THE ROCKETEER/ THE SPIRIT:

PULP FRICTION

IDW/ DC (2013)

ISSUE ONE

SCRIPT: Mark Waid

PENCILS: Paul Smith

COVER: Paul Smith

THE COVER:
It's great to see two of my all-time favorite heroes together on a comic cover! I think the Rocketeer is better done, but then again, I love the design of the Rocketeer in general. Overall, this is a great cover that shines the spotlight (literally) on both main characters in a big way.

THE STORY:
The Year: 1941. The body of a man is discovered in California, which begins the mystery of how a dead Central City Alderman who had just been seen at a city council meeting on the East Coast ended up 3000 miles away in only eight hours.

Since the victim was a friend of Central City police commissioner Dolan, he recruits resident vigilante detective, The Spirit, to get to the bottom of things. Dolan's daughter (and Spirit's sorta-girlfriend) Ellen insists on going as well (for some California sun), and Dolan grudgingly agrees to accompany them.

IN THE MEANTIME. . .

We see that the model who discovered the body is Betty, girlfriend of pilot Cliff Secord (AKA The Rocketeer), and that millionaire tycoon Benjamin Trask (on the West Coast) and elusive criminal "The Octopus" (on the East Coast) were behind the mysterious death.

Upon arrival in California, mistaken identity shenanigans ensue as Cliff's friend, Peevy, accidentally overhears the masked stranger (The Spirit) talking about taking care of business and assumes he's there to kill Betty.

Cliff flies to the "Rescue" as The Rocketeer and fights with The Spirit in the sky over the airfield until Peevy and Dolan recognize each other from the war (WWI, that is) and realize that there's been a big mistake.

On the ground, strained introductions are made and Cliff takes The Spirit to talk to Betty. . .who immediately falls for the square-jawed detective, much to the consternation of both Cliff and Ellen.

To be continued. . .

THE REVIEW:

This issue is pretty much concerned with setting up the central mystery, bringing the two main characters together, and introducing conflict between the two reluctant allies. That's a lot to pack into a single issue, but veteran writer Mark Waid handles it all with ease. The dialogue is snappy and everything moves at a fast pace. . .but not too fast. Waid definitely keeps a steady hand on the wheel here as he pushes the pieces into their initial places.

Okay, the old "Heroes fight until the realize they're on the same side" crossover hook IS a very well-worn path, but sometimes you just have to go with a "If it ain't broke, don't fix it" attitude. I've seen it done a lot worse in other comics. It actually fits the story here instead of feeling forced.

The art here makes a good story even better with sharp, realistic lines and great facial expressions that make even scenes of characters standing around talking interesting to look at. The action scenes are dynamic and have a great sense of movement. The backgrounds are sparse, allowing the artist to draw the reader's focus to the detailed characters. The style serves this particular story very nicely.

Overall, a very nice first issue! It quickly introduces the characters and conflicts in a very readable way. . .despite reliance on the good old "Heroes mistakenly fight each other" crossover hook. The art style fits the story perfectly.

I would have liked a little more information on The Spirit and The Rocketeer for new readers (but reading ahead I can see that's covered in upcoming issues, so no harm no foul) but other than that very small complaint, I call this one a winner!

NEXT!

ISSUE TWO

SCRIPT: Mark Waid

PENCILS: Loston Wallace

COVER: Paul Smith

THE COVER:
As big a fan of The Spirit and The Rocketeer that I am, I find this cover to be a bit "Meh". Once again, it's great to see two of my favorites together on a comic cover, but this one just seems underwhelming. Not that it's bad. Just sort of. . .average. Not really the kind of cover that makes me want to buy a comic.

THE STORY:
Now that our heroes are reluctantly working together, they head into the city to see if they can gain any clues from the autopsy of the dead Central City Alderman.

Since morgues are more in Dolan and The Spirit's wheelhouse, Ellen and Cliff find themselves making an unexpected connection while the two detectives meet with the coroner. Dolan and The Spirit make the incredible discovery that the organs of the dead man are scrambled beyond recognition. . .another mystery!

Meanwhile, back at the airfield, Peevy and Betty discover an image of the dead man burnt into the screen of Peevy's experimental homemade television set. . .adding yet more to the mystery at hand.

Cliff, Dolan, Ellen, and The Spirit rush back to the airfield to check out the new wrinkle in the case. Shortly after they arrive, the airfield is attacked by two airplanes armed with machine guns! Cliff jumps into action as The Rocketeer, and The Spirit insists on helping.

After a tense mid-air battle, the attackers are taken down. Dolan and Peevy interrogate the captured pilots and discover they are working for Millionaire Tycoon Benjamin Trask. Deciding to follow up on this new clue, the pair of heroes make plans to follow Trask to Central City.

IN THE MEANTIME. . .

While the airfield is being attacked, Betty is auditioning for a producer that is promising to make her the first star of America's newest form of entertainment, television. It turns out that the producer is none other than the newly-discovered villain, Benjamin Trask. DUN-DUN-DUN!!

To be continued. . .

THE REVIEW:
Now that the two heroes are in the same place and on the same side, Mark Waid begins adding layers to the mystery with an issue that is mostly the characters finding and following clues. . .with a nice bit of aerial action thrown in. The dialogue remains snappy and light, making the story move along at a very nice pace. We get to see both The Rocketeer and The Spirit doing what they do best. . .The Spirit as a detective and Rocketeer in high-flyin' action, with both characters getting their own moments in the spotlight. All in all, very nicely done.

We get an artist change in this issue as well. The style is a little lighter, less realistic and more cartoony than in the first issue, but I think it fits the story even better! I've never heard of Loston Wallace, but a quick dive into the Wiki-Well tells me that he's mostly known for illustrating "all ages" comics for DC. I really enjoy his art style a lot and his work here is excellent. I wish he had more regular comic work on his resume I could keep an eye out for!

Overall, we have a great second issue here. It adds to the mystery at hand, gives The Spirit and The Rocketeer both time in the spotlight, and features some really enjoyable art. There's nothing I can possibly complain about here! This is the kind of comic book that really makes me want to jump right into the next issue.

So let's do it!

ISSUE THREE

SCRIPT: Mark Waid

PENCILS: J Bone

COVER: J Bone

THE COVER:

J Bone is an artist I don't really know, but his chunky cartoon style works a lot better on the delightful interior art than it does on this cover. It's not BAD. . . I love seeing two of my favorite characters together on a comic cover, and it's sort of fun, but there's just something missing. . .

THE STORY:

Moving from sunny Hollywood to the cold and snowy streets of Central City, we begin the story inside The Spirit's crypt hideout where he is recounting his origin to The Rocketeer, who is understandably disturbed by hearing such a strange story from a dead man in the middle of a cemetery. . .

IN THE MEANTIME. . .

Betty and Trask have also arrived in Central City, and Betty is put up in a suite at the swankiest hotel in town. Their arrival has not gone unnoticed by Commissioner Dolan's informants. The Spirit, Dolan, and The Rocketeer make ready to confront Trask.

While the heroes make their plans, the full scope of the villainous plot is finally revealed as Trask meets with Central City Crime Lord, The Octopus in a dockside warehouse.

It seems that Trask and Octopus have been working with a German scientist named Goessel and have discovered a way to use the new technology of television to transmit not only images, but matter! A secret that Trask demonstrates during a television meeting of various powerful American crime figures by firing a machine gun at them through their television screens!

After Trask's demonstration seals an alliance among American organized crime, he returns to the hotel where Betty is staying, along with Goessel and the television/teleportation equipment. He reveals to Betty that he was merely using her as bait to lure The Spirit and The Rocketeer to him.

As the Rocketeer attacks the hotel, Goessel uses the teleportation camera on Betty, teleporting her to the warehouse where The Spirit is attacking The Octopus' gaurds. Unlike the dead Alderman at the heart of the original mystery, Betty survives the teleportation intact and alive, but her mind is practically blank and leaves her completely open to suggestion.

As The Rocketeer battles his way through the streets of Central City in pursuit of Trask, The Octopus' minions subdue and capture The Spirit in the warehouse. The story ends with Octupus and Goessel preparing to have the mind-controlled Betty kill The Spirit live on television for the viewing pleasure of their new organized crime allies.

To be continued. . .

THE REVIEW:

As we head into the big finish of Pulp Friction, this issue very nicely sets up the final confrontation between our heroes and the villains by revealing the master plan behind everything that's happened so far. Yeah. . .it's kind of corny when you think too hard about it, but on the other hand, it's also a lot of fun!

Mark Waid channels his inner Golden Age and gives us the kind of story you'd expect if this comic were actually written on the edge of an emerging technology like television. It's complete fantasy based on speculation and possibility. . .but those kind of stories were common in the years when this comic is supposedly taking place. A bit of modern suspension of disbelief is needed, but I think Waid pulls off bringing the reader into the Golden Age quite well.

All that AND we get a great little retelling of The Spirit's origin story!

We also get ANOTHER artist change with this issue. Like I said in the look at the cover above, I'm not familiar with J Bone (and wasn't really impressed with the cover), but his chunky, exaggerated, darkly-inked art style is a great look for this issue! I have to confess that I'd rather have seen more of Loston Wallace's work on this, but with J Bone's art and the great sense of movement it has, I can easily imagine this story as an animated feature!

Overall, writer Mark Waid very nicely sets things up for the big finish with an action-packed issue that brings the Golden Age of comics onstage in a big way. Another art change gives us a glimpse of what this would look like as an animated movie. It looks great, but I wish that they would have stuck with one artist through the whole series. That very small complaint aside, this issue is a winner in my book, and everything is standing strong heading into the final issue.

AND FINALLY. . .

ISSUE FOUR

SCRIPT: Mark Waid

PENCILS: J Bone

COVER: J Bone

THE COVER:

This cover by J Bone actually works a lot better than the one he did for the previous issue. His cartoony animation style art perfectly fits this "Damsels in distress" shot. The colors give a great contrast to the two leading ladies of the story.

THE STORY:

Continuing from last issue, The Spirit manages to break through Betty's mind control and she frees him. As the Octupus sets his henchmen on Betty and The Spirit, the police and The Rocketeer arrive on the scene in time to win the fight. . .but just a moment too late to prevent The Octopus from escaping.

With everyone safely reunited, The Octopus' and Trask's henchmen arrested, and the mystery of the dead Alderman solved, it seems that all that is left is to track down Trask, Goessler and The Octopus in order to bring them to justice.

But as the heroes ponder what their next move will be, they suddenly realize that the plot goes much deeper than they thought as they see on a television screen running at the warehouse that Trask is filming President Roosevelt live on television at the White House!

Knowing they have to take action quickly in order to save the President, the heroes use the teleporting equipment at the warehouse to transport Roosevelt to them. . .but they also accidentally teleport a squad of Ratzi (BECAUSE I JUST NOW DISCOVERED THAT CBR'S FILTER WON'T LET ME WRITE N-AZI) soldiers that Trask was teleporting from Europe (in partnership with a Ratzi General) to assassinate Roosevelt.

The heroes manage to get President Roosevelt to safety before the fighting begins by strapping The Rocketeer's jet pack on him and shooting him out of the warehouse. . .and then it's Ratzi Punchin' Time!

As The Rocketeer and The Spirit take down the Ratzi assassination squad, Trask's Ratzi General ally destroys the teleport connection between Europe and kills Trask by transporting explosives through the television. . .erasing the evidence of the Ratzi plot to assassinate Roosevelt.

Later, at the White House, President Roosevelt allows The Rocketeer to keep his jet pack (which IS officially stolen government property) in exchange for keeping the secret of The President's polio, which was discovered by The Rocketeer during the warehouse battle. The Spirit and Rocketeer say their goodbyes before departing to their respective cities, having earned each others respect and becoming friends and allies during their adventure together.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

And everything wraps up very nicely in an action-packed final issue that takes time at the end to slow down and pay a lot of respect to two of my favorite heroes as the bow on top of the package. I really couldn't ask for anything more. The end of this issue just brings a smile to my face. In these times, that's something that's sort of rare these days. Mark Waid definitely hit it out of the park with this issue. No. . .with this whole series!

J Bone stays on art for this final issue, and everything good about his chunky animation-style art from the third issue stays good here. You can almost imagine seeing these panels in motion on a T.V. screen. I think I'm going to keep my eye out for some more of his work now.

Overall, this was a great finish to a great series! Everything wrapped up nicely and as a big fan of The Spirit and The Rocketeer, the ending made me happy and wanting to see more adventures with them teaming up. The only complaint I have is that this is probably the only time I get to see these two great heroes in the same comic. Other than that, I've got nothing bad to say about this.

CONCLUSION

I have to confess that I cheated a little on this one.

Most of the time when I do a Longbox Junk review, it's either my first time reading a comic or the first time in so long that I don't really remember much about it. This time out, I picked a series that I ALREADY knew was good and have enjoyed reading several times.

I just didn't have it in me to throw out anything too negative right at this moment. I'll get back to gritting my teeth through some lousy comics soon enough, just not right now. Fair?

ANYWAY. . .

As you can tell from the reviews of the individual issues, I don't have much bad to say about this series: The Rocketeer didn't get much background information compared to The Spirit, which doesn't matter to a fan such as myself, but might be an oversight when it comes to new readers who might not know these characters. A couple of the covers are "So-So". Some people might think the whole "Heroes fight until they realize they're on the same side" crossover setup is a golden oldie that needs to be retired (I thought it worked here better than it usually does). Some people might think that Ratzis being the ultimate villains is a bit tired (okay. . .maybe they're right).

BUT. . .

Those are small complaints when you take in the overall view of this series: It has a pretty good story bringing together two great pulp heroes for the first and probably only time. It showcases some great art. Most of all. . .it's FUN! Mark Waid successfully brings the nonsense of the Golden Age into the Modern Age and it's just a plain old good time!

If you are a fan of pulp adventures or are just looking for some fun comics, then I heartily recommend this series. I bought this one off the rack when it was coming out, but I've seen the issues in back issue bins and it's been collected in both hard and soft cover. It's also available on Comixology for you high-tech folks out there.

Up Next. . .

I'm not really sure.
I've been digging through my daughter's comics for some Marvel-Style fun.
Right now, I'm reading a pretty good Spider-Man/ Human Torch five-issue mini that might be just what Longbox Junk needs to stay on the light side of comics next time out. Until then. . .

Be there or be square!

- read more

Welcome back to Longbox Junk, the place to find all the comic reviews you never asked for that you could ever ask for! Wait. . .does that even make sense? It does to me!

So here we are at the back half of DC's short-lived 1993 attempt at a Black Canary solo title.

I was a bit disappointed with the first six issues. It's not that they're BAD, it's just that they could have been a lot better with a bit more effort by a stronger creative team. As it stands coming into the second six issues, things are pretty average and not very memorable. It's a decent read, but I just want a LITTLE more.

- read more

Sorry about the delay on this one. I actually had it done last week, but I accidentally deleted the draft and had to completely re-write it!

ANYWAY. . .

Welcome back to Longbox Junk, the place to find all the comic reviews you never asked for!

- read more

Welcome back to Longbox Junk! It's the place to find all the comic book reviews you never asked for!

My apologies for a bit of delay during some nice, brisk holiday business, but that's what happens when you manage a hotel. I should have plenty of time for some good Longbox Junkin' during the next few slow winter months ahead.

So, back to Longbox Junk business as usual. . .which for now at least is working my way through a stack of non-DC/Marvel single issue stories I came into as part of a pretty massive purchase of about 600 comics from a closing comic shop. I call them Longbox Junk Off-Brand One Shots!

My comic lovin' daughter has been pulling the comics I've been reviewing lately. She made me squirm a bit last time out by giving me a bunch of -tastic comics I couldn't take to work without risking an awkward HR appointment, and couldn't read in front of my wife without earning a bit of silent mockery regarding my questionable reading habits. . .but there were actually a couple of pretty good ones in there despite my daughter's best efforts.

Let's see what she's given me this time. Off Brand One Shots. . .Let's do it!

DIESEL

ANTARCTIC PRESS (1997)

MASTER OF DRAGONS PART ONE

SCRIPT: Joe Weltjens

PENCILS: Joe Weltjens

COVER: Joe Weltjens

THE COVER:

Hooray! I can read this one at work! I like the portrait style on this cover. The main character looks a little generic. . .I'm expecting a discount Dollar Store version of Hulk, Wolverine, or a combo of the two inside. That said, he's well drawn and nicely contrasted in the frame against the black background. The title seems to be about twice as big as it needs to be, but overall this is a pretty good cover.

THE STORY:

When Thomas Diesel decides to unexpectedly visit an old friend, he discovers that his mentor (and her father) has been killed. Worse, the killer is the same man who killed Diesel's own father in the past.

Diesel is prevented from rushing into a foolhardy act of vengeance by being asked to join a group of others that have the same power as he does. . .the ability to manifest super-powered avatars known as "stands". . .and fight together to take down the killer.

Unfortunately for the fledgling team, Mr. Botha (the killer) has anticipated their move and has sent an assassin to destroy them. After a brutal battle where several of the team are taken down, Diesel confronts the attacker on his own and manages to defeat him.

It is at that moment that a mysterious warrior called Chibot appears and tells Diesel that he has passed some sort of test. . .

The end. To be continued.

THE REVIEW:

It seems that a lot of these Off-Brand One Shots are unfinished projects. So it is with Diesel. This obviously was supposed to be the first issue of a larger story. It starts in the middle, hits the ground running with explanations assumed to be coming later, and ends on a "to be continued" cliffhanger.

Unfortunately, the "start in the middle of the story" nature of this issue makes it practically unreadable except for the most basic understanding of what's going on. If this were part of an ongoing or limited series, one would expect information to be forthcoming in coming issues. Instead, this bare-bones introduction is all there is. . .and based on what there is of it, I'm not sure I'd be interested in reading more even if there was more to read.

Putting aside that this is basically a story fragment, it's just not written very well. It almost looks like a translation from another language, like if this was an imported Manga. There's nothing in the indicia to show that it's been previously published or translated, so I'm thinking the stilted, somewhat confusing way the characters speak is just how it was written instead of the fault of a translator.

On the art side of things, it's okay. Not good, not bad. Just riding right down the center line of telling the story without trying too hard to impress. It's in Antarctic's signature "American Manga" art style that I usually like a lot, but this isn't really the best example of that style.

Overall, this is a pretty poorly-written story fragment that is practically unreadable because it starts in the middle of the tale and ends on a cliffhanger with little information on what the is going on to be found in between. What there is of it doesn't really make me wonder what happened next.

THE FINAL VERDICT:

I'll give this one 2 out of 5 obvious Hirohiko Araki "inspirations"

Not a great start. Moving along!

ROBOCOP: KILLING MACHINE

AVATAR PRESS (2004)

KILLING MACHINE

SCRIPT: Steven Grant

PENCILS: Anderson Ricardo

COVER: Juan Jose Ryp

THE COVER:

I love RoboCop, but this cover is pretty bad. It's hyper-detailed to the point of it being so busy and cluttered that those details are lost in the mess. It's like the artist didn't know when to stop. Hopefully, the story inside is better.

THE STORY:

When a bored rich kid's hacking attacks on Detroit's traffic grid are constantly thwarted by RoboCop, he attempts to hack into the robotic police officer's original OCP programming.

Instead of finding a way to control RoboCop, the hacker discovers and activates an experimental combat robot that was never put into production. As the "Urban Pacifier" wreaks havoc across Detroit, Robocop confronts the killing machine and, even though he is physically outmatched, defeats it through human ingenuity.

Due to the sudden destruction of the killing machine and his inability to disconnect from controlling it, the unfortunate hacker finds himself mentally imprisoned and unable to escape the internet as his body falls into a coma.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

Like I said above, I love RoboCop and was happy to see a comic with a character I actually know. Unfortunately, this isn't a great RoboCop comic. It's extremely short. . .coming in at a slim 10 pages long, with the rest of the comic taken up by ads for upcoming Avatar comics and their MANY variant covers. It's basically a short fight scene with a sort of interesting twist ending that is over and done with before you know it. I literally read this comic in about 5 minutes.

There's also a lot of gratuitous "adult" language in here that just seems thrown in for. . .reasons? This whole thing just seems like it should be a single scene in an actual RoboCop comic, or maybe a short story in an anthology. It's just way too short and ultimately forgettable.

This is literally the only page of this story without an "F-Bomb" on it.

As far as the art goes, it's pretty good. It has bold lines, is brightly colored, and tells what little story there is well. It doesn't strive for excellence in any way. It does the job and that's all it does. It's pretty much as forgettable as the story is.

Overall, what we have here is an extremely short and forgettable story backed up with some artwork that doesn't try to go beyond the level of "pretty good". Thanks to HALF of this issue being ads for variant covers, this comic feels more like a preview than an actual story. If I had paid the $2.99 price on the cover, I'd feel about two buck's worth of ripped off. Disappointing.

THE FINAL VERDICT:

I give this one 2 out of 5 Convention Special Gold Foil Wraparound Limited Variant Covers.

So far, this isn't going well at all. NEXT!

YOUNGBLOOD SUPER SPECIAL

MAXIMUM PRESS (1997)

GOOD ENOUGH

SCRIPT: Eric Stephenson

PENCILS: Chris Sprouse

COVER: Chris Sprouse

THE COVER:

Hmmmmm. . .I can't really decide if I like this cover or not. On the one hand, it's pretty well drawn, I like the bold lines and dark inks. It's colorful, and I like the arrangement of the characters looking like they are being sucked into (or maybe blown out of?) the center of the cover in a pretty dynamic way.

On the other hand, the characters themselves are just SO 90's. There's cybernetic limbs, pouches, straps, and big shoulder pads all over the place. They just look like a bunch of generic off-brand X-Men (actually Wikipedia tells me Teen Titans were the Youngblood inspiration).

THE STORY:

When a routine training mission goes wrong and their transport plane crashes in an isolated forest, members of Team Youngblood, including four young new recruits, are all challenged with making life or death choices after they are separated from each other.

In the end, it is revealed that they were being tested by an immortal alien race in order to judge one of the recruits who is actually one of them in a regressed human form. He is judged a failure and sent elsewhere for further testing, but the beings invite another of the young recruits that has impressed them to join them.

The alien beings erase the memory of the tests and the two missing recruits from the minds of the Youngblood team and life goes on as if nothing ever happened.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

I came into this comic knowing absolutely nothing about Team Youngblood or any of the characters involved with it. The story did a pretty good job of introducing the characters without a lot of obvious exposition, which was a big plus in my book. It seems that a lot of the Off-Brand comics just sort of assume that you're already a fan and throw you right in. This one is actually pretty new reader friendly and spends a little time getting to know the characters you're reading about.

The story itself isn't anything new. The "twist" of none of it actually happening and the heroes being tested is fairly easy to see early on. That said, for a bunch of characters I knew nothing about, this was a pretty good read. I'm not saying it's the BEST comic story I've ever read, but I'd be interested in reading some more Youngblood if I came across it.

As far as the art goes, it's pretty typical 90's superhero art. There's straps, pouches, and shoulder pads all over the place. That said, it's not the worst 90's art I've seen. It's pretty clean and uncluttered, and there are a few very nice moments to be found here and there. The colors are a bit garish in places, but not so much to be distracting. There's actually a bit of effort to be good here.

Overall, what we have here is a surprisingly new reader-friendly superhero story backed up with some decent 90's style art that makes a better than average attempt to impress. It's not a GREAT story, but it's good enough to make me interested in maybe checking out some more Youngblood comics. Not too bad.

THE FINAL VERDICT:

I'll give this one 3 out of 5 giant shoulder pads.

NEXT!

AIRMAN

MALIBU (1993)

SHALL THE SEA GIVE UP HER SECRETS?

SCRIPT: R.A. Jones

PENCILS: Matt Reynolds

COVER: Thomas Derenick

THE COVER:

Not a bad cover here. Not great, mind you. . .but I think I'd give this one a turn up on the "Wall O' Covers" at work. The main character looks like a knockoff Hawkman, but I'm liking the colorful and old-school style of this cover. It has an interesting late Bronze Age feel to it. The menacing villain has a kind of Egyptian look to him, which makes me expect an Off-Brand Hawkman story inside even more, but this isn't a bad cover at all. I like it.

THE STORY:

High-flying hero Airman receives a distress call from old friend and fellow superhero Thresher telling him that he has been captured. As Airman rushes to the location he was given, we learn that Thresher is being tortured by a villain known as The Conqueror, who is trying to gain information on something called "The Secret of The Doors".

Airman arrives at the isolated island prison and breaks Thresher free so that he is able to enter the ocean and rejuvenate his powers. After Thresher has recovered, the pair of heroes decide that rather than escape, they will attack!

Thresher and Airman attack The Conqueror's base, taking the villain and his minions by surprise. During the brutal battle, the Conqueror makes his escape with Airman in hot pursuit. Unfortunately, he has enough of a head start that Airman is unable to keep up and the villain gets away.

Returning to the prison, Airman tells Thresher the bad news and then invites the aquatic hero to join the group of heroes Airman has recently become part of known as The Protectors. Thresher agrees to meet them, but doesn't give a definite answer. Elsewhere, we see that the Conqueror was actually working for another villain called "The Great Question", who has some sort of ultimate plan involving The Protectors.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

This was a pretty good read overall, but there's some definite problems. When I read a one-shot, I expect a story told in a single issue. One and done. You don't get that here. Okay. . .you DO get a self-contained story about one hero breaking another out of prison, so there's that.

Unfortunately, this comic seems to be filling some sort of continuity hole in Malibu's (then existing) superhero "universe" (how Thresher joined up with The Protectors), and in doing so, references events taking place elsewhere, leaves plot threads hanging for resolution in another series, and ends on a "To be continued" note directing readers elsewhere for the actual ending of the story.

Because of these connecting threads to other comics, THIS comic is not new-reader friendly at all. It's assumed you know these characters and situations from elsewhere coming into it. This is less of a stand-alone story and more of an episode taking place in the background of an ongoing series.

But like I said above, it's still a pretty good read. The story is simple and action-packed, moving across the page for a nice quick read. Straight superheroics with nothing deep or complicated to it. There's JUST enough exposition to keep from having to hit Wikipedia to understand what's going on and who the characters are, which is more than some of these off-brand one shots give you.

The art here is actually the best part of this comic. It's not the greatest art I've ever seen, but I like it quite a bit. The lines are thick and dark, the characters have a sort of chunky feel to them and everything is nicely detailed. The colors are great. It has an obvious Barry Windsor-Smith Rune-era inspiration to the style, which in my book is a good thing. Some of the faces are a bit too exaggerated, given the otherwise pretty realistic look, but other than that, this is a good looking comic.

Overall, I'm disappointed in this being a "one shot" that is actually a background scene in another ongoing series, but it's a still a pretty good read backed up by some decent discount Barry Windsor-Smith style art.

THE FINAL VERDICT:

I'll give Airman 3 out of 5 editorial box notes referencing previous issues of another series.

AND FINALLY. . .

DEATHANGEL

LIGHTNING COMICS (1997)

SCRIPT: John Cleary

PENCILS: John Cleary

COVER: John Cleary

THE COVER:

A lot of these Off-Brand comics I've been handed have a heavy Rob Liefeld influence. This one takes a swerve into the lane of the OTHER 90's mega-influential artist. . .Todd McFarlane. I've sort of been wondering when I was going to see some McFarlane-style covers. When you have a pile of 90's comics, it's only a matter of time.

The Spawn is strong with this one, especially in the Violator looking creature at the bottom. I like the colors here, everything is nicely-detailed, and the logo is great! Yeah, you have to look twice to make sure it's not a Spawn comic, but it's not too bad, for what it is. I'm actually surprised that a 90's comic cover featuring a female hero doesn't have a giant set of in my face, so extra points for that.

THE STORY:

Eons ago, the demon scribe called Scrum is tasked with creating The Necrinomicon, a book that will imbue a human host with the powers of and transform them into an evil champion of Satan called The DeathAngel.

Moving forward in time to 18th Century England, we witness the forces of led by the Archangel Raphael defeating a fallen Angel-turned DeathAngel named Susanna. After the battle, the Necromonicon is lost in time. . .

. . .until 1997, when divers exploring the wreck of a pirate ship accidentally discover the evil book. It destroys the Captain and crew of the ship and then steers the vessel toward New York City, where it senses a human host worthy of its power. . .

As F.B.I. Agent Rachael Killian and the the NYPD investigate the mysterious ghost ship that ended up in New York with a crew of dead men, the Necronomicon is found and taken by Killian for testing at F.B.I. headquarters. As Rachael translates the writing in the book, she reads an intriguing passage out loud. . .AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!

Powerful forces rip through the unsuspecting F.B.I. agent's body as she is transformed into the half-naked warrior of , The DeathAngel! The transformation does not go unnoticed in either Heaven OR . The Demon Scrum heads to Earth to welcome 's newest warrior. The Archangel Raphael heads to Earth to stop her.

Reveling in her new power, the transformed DeathAngel kills a man as he attempts to rape a woman. The Demon Scrum berates her for the good deed, telling her that the rapist was an ally of and that she shouldn't have intervened. Rachael tells the Demon that she's not interested in serving and the two engage in battle.

Raphael shows up during the battle and ends it, mocking Scrum and telling him to deliver the message to Satan that the book chose the wrong host, Rachael has the light of the Lord within her. After the Demon leaves, swearing vengeance, Rachael agrees to join Raphael's Warriors of Light and use her new powers in the service of .

The End.

THE REVIEW:

No. Not good. Pretty bad. The McFarlane inspiration on the cover heads inside and we get basically a sort of female Spawn. A character with the power of that chooses to fight evil with the Demon Scrum basically outright imitating Spawn's Violator. There's also some beats swiped from Witchblade thrown in for good measure, because if you're gonna grab someone else's ideas, why stop at one?

To make matters worse, this comic is poorly-written. The dialogue is extremely wordy, repeats itself often and honestly reads like it was written by a D&D Dungeon Master testing out the unedited first draft of his novel disguised as an adventure scenario on his unsuspecting game group.

Then there's the art. My . . .the art. Take a look at the page I scanned above. Do I really need to say anything other than 22 pages of that gave me a headache? I literally wanted not to read this comic because of that over-cluttered art. But I ain't a quitter, son! I read the whole thing!

If you can stand to look closely, the individual parts of the art are actually pretty good in a "I wanna be Todd McFarlane!" way. . .but there's just so MUCH in each panel that it becomes something awful. Say what you will about McFarlane's art, but at least he understands the concept of negative space.

Overall, what we have here is a female ripoff of Spawn with amateurish dialogue and extremely cluttered pages of eye-bleeding art. I had to take a Tylenol and relax after reading this. Reading this comic was like some sort of mental punishment for a crime I didn't even know I committed.

THE FINAL VERDICT:

I give this one 1 out of 5 throbbing forehead veins.

CONCLUSION

I have to admit that I'm glad I'm done with this batch of Off-Brand One Shots. This handful really sort of confirmed what I was expecting when I started this strange journey through comics and characters I'd never heard of. Two out of Five of them are "pretty good", with two more being "pretty bad" and one being "I don't even want to read this" awful. Even then, the "Pretty good" ones feature derivative characters and predictable stories.

Overall, I think I've finally had enough of this for now. Even though I still have enough off-brand one shots for what WAS planned for two more entries, these five comics have made me lose my appetite. I'll probably return to the rest of the comics I was planning on reviewing at some point, but for now I think it's time for something else.

Up Next. . .

Let's get back into some Longbox Junk Reader Requests!

Normally, I'd pick one from the pickin' hat (a set of monogrammed Mickey ears from Disney World), but Comic Book Realm member Tenzil put forth a Christmas wish that I somehow might find it in my heart to review his fine selection at some point. And who am I to deny someones Christmas Wish?

SO. . .

Merry Late Christmas, Tenzil!

Next up is the Longbox Junk take on issues #1 -#6 of Valiant's "Harbinger" series.

They're in my daughter's collection and I've never read them. Please, . . .let them be good.

Be there or be square!

- read more

Welcome back to Longbox Junk, where I review comics that nobody asked me to!

The comics I've been reading lately, I don't think ANYBODY has ever been asked to review. From what I can see, I'm writing the first (and probably the last) reviews of most of them. . .but truthfully, that's the fun part!

What we have here are what I've been calling "Off-Brand One Shots". They're single issue stories pulled from a recent massive purchase of roughly 600 NON-DC/Marvel comics bought on the cheap from a closing comic shop.

I've put a little twist in things by letting my comic lovin' daughter pick the one shots I've been taking a look at, and so far she's done a pretty good job at mixing things up. Everything from straight superhero stories, to horror, manga, comedy, and everything in between.

Let's see what she's given me this time!

ONIBA: SWORDS OF THE DEMON

ASPEN COMICS (2015)

"NO, MASTER"

SCRIPT: Vince Hernandez & Paolo Pantalena

PENCILS: Paolo Pantalena

COVER: Paolo Pantalena

THE COVER:

Now THAT'S a pretty impressive cover! The colors are amazing, the main character and the dragon are very nicely detailed, and everything really pops up against the plain background. It's a little bit -tastic, but it's not done in an exploitative way (like the other covers below), so I think I can get away with putting this one up on the "Wall O'Covers" at work (I have to think twice about ANY cover with a female I put up there). I really like everything about this cover! Let's hope the story is as good.

THE STORY:

In feudal Japan, Daimyo Nobunga Oda is a powerful and ruthless ruler. Expert swordswoman and assassin Yukiko is his most feared and trusted warrior. After helping decimate a rival clan, Yukiko begins to have doubts about her powerful Master when she secretly witnesses him sacrifice two of his own warriors while praying to something unseen.

After confiding what she's seen to a fellow warrior and friend, Akechi, he also confides that these dark doings are partly what is behind a planned coup he will be leading. Yukiko declines to join Akechi in his rebellion, but also keeps what she knows secret from her Master.

Shortly afterward, the attack Akechi warned Yukiko about comes, and after a brutal battle, Akechi confronts the fleeing Nobunga, but the fight between the two goes badly for the rebel leader. Yukiko secretly strikes the killing blow, stabbing her own Master in the back during his moment of triumph, leaving Akechi victorious. . .but the betrayal of her Master is too much for Yukiko to bear.

Beacause of her shameful secret, Yukiko leaves the clan to wander the land as masterless warrior. . .a Ronin.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

I really liked this comic a lot! It has a well-written story full of action and intrigue that hints at a darker supernatural center that I want to know more about. Likewise, the main character is interesting and I want to know where her journey takes her. Unfortunately, this looks like a project that never got past this single introductory issue, which is a shame because there's a lot of great story potential here.

Admittedly, this is a story that's been told before. . .Many times before. That said "Wandering Warrior carrying a dark secret" is a classic story framework for a good reason. It's a narrative hook a writer can hang almost any kind of tale they want on. The journey of a disgraced warrior through a supernatural-tainted version of Japan is a comic series I want to read.

On the art side of things, the excellence of the cover is carried through to the inside pages. I love the uninked, sort of watercolor style the artist uses. The colors are great. The elaborate character designs are fantastic. This comic is simply a feast for the eyes! EVERY page is worth lingering over.

Overall, this comic is pure Longbox Junk gold! It has an interesting story I want more of (and sadly will never get), backed up by some incredible art. It's a shame that this is the only issue of this series that was ever put out, because I'd be on the bargain bin hunt for the rest if there were more.

THE FINAL VERDICT:

I'll give this one FIVE out of FIVE Yojimbo homages.

A GREAT start! Let's see what's next. . .

WITCH HUNTER #1

MALIBU (1996)

BLOOD HUNT

SCRIPT: Laurie Sutton

PENCILS: Joyce Chin

COVER: Renee Paniccia

COLORS: Roberta Conroy, Camelia , Sharleen Gaertner, Lucy Koeoeian, Edie Moses, Rebecca Maiden, Renee Paniccia, Kim Pettijohn, Alicia Rodriguez, Sheri Rohrbacher, Jacquie Roman, Serina Sahakian, Carolyn Shaver, Jennifer Schellinger, Kelli Young.

I just thought I'd point out that there's FIFTEEN color artists credited for this ONE issue! That's gotta be some sort of record. . .

THE COVER:

Oh, boy. Nope. This one ain't going up on the office wall. It's WAY too -tastic, and not in a somewhat excusably artistic way (Like Oniba, above), but in a straight-up exploitative 90's "LOOK AT THE !" Sort of way. Setting aside the , it's a decent cover, but not great. . .like a lot of 90's covers, it definitely has the stench of Rob Liefeld's influence on it in the stretched-out proportions, impossible hair, and cybernetic arm.

THE STORY:

Maria Delorentti (AKA Witch Hunter), an agent of the mysterious supernatural watchdog agency known as The Seventh Sign, follows a trail of clues across the city as she searches for a missing Seventh Sign agent.

Eventually, she learns the location of the agent, but must work quickly to rescue him. He is due to be sacrificed at the height of the moon, mere minutes away! Leaping into action, Witch Hunter disrupts the ceremony in progress and finds herself fighting a cult of female vampires.

Knowing that her blood is poison to vampires, Witch Hunter allows them to drink. To block out the pain, she reflects back on her life before she joined Seventh Sign. . .

Massachusetts, 1936. On her 21st birthday, Maria is attacked by evil spirits that open a portal to another world and attempt to pull her in. An agent of Seventh Sign who had been watching the house breaks his instructions to observe and report in order to save her. . .but not before her youngest sister is pulled into the portal, her mother dies from the horror, and her other sister falls comatose.

Upon hearing the news of the devastation her family has suffered, Maria swears vengeance and immediately accepts the offer to join The Seventh Sign as an agent against evil forces.

Returning back to the present, the minions of the Vampire Queen lay dead around Witch Hunter, poisoned by her blood. She confronts their leader, who knew not to drink from her, and they join in battle. After a brutal fight in the skies above the city, Witch Hunter manages to behead the Vampire Queen with her holy sword. With the cult defeated, Witch Hunter returns with the kidnapped agent to headquarters.

The End.

THE REVIEW:

What we have here is a pretty lackluster story. It has a main character I just couldn't get interested in, with vaguely-defined powers that seem to match whatever the story needs her to have. The story is weak and forgettable, and is obviously just a hook to hang a comic filled with pictures of half naked women on. I always tell my daughter to never judge a comic book by its cover. . .but in this case, the cover tells you exactly what you're going to get.

Unfortunately, for a comic where the story is in service to the art, the art isn't even that great. It's okay, but lacks a sense of motion needed for a story that's basically a long fight scene with a flashback thrown in the middle. Characters look like they're posing more than moving. It's pretty obvious that posed pictures of scantily-clad women is the focus of the artist. . .and indeed, the focus of the comic in general.

Overall, what we have here is a comic book laser focused on the lowest common denominators for young men. . . and violence. The sad part is that they don't even get THAT completely right. This comic is an utterly forgettable relic of the 90's "Bad Girl" trend. There was never a #2 and it's not hard to see why.

THE FINAL VERDICT:

I'll give this one 2 out of 5 Liefeld-Inspired Cybernetic Arms.

One good. . .one bad. NEXT!

ULTRAVIXEN

HOUND COMICS (2013)

SCORPIO RISING! . . .OR WAS THAT FALLING?

SCRIPT: Marcelo Bravo

PENCILS: Jed Dougherty

COVER: Jed Dougherty

THE COVER:

- read more

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atom's Comic Book Blogs

atom | Male | Utah

July 2025

Archives

Tags

CATWOMAN #50

DC (1997)

BLACK DIAMOND #1

AC/Americomics (1983)

CONCLUSION

ELVIRA'S HOUSE OF MYSTERY #9

DC (1986)

CONCLUSION

GRIMM TALES OF TERROR

HALLOWEEN SPECIAL 2019

Zenescope (2019)

CONCLUSION

GLORY #1

IMAGE (1995)

CONCLUSION

THE ROCKETEER/ THE SPIRIT:

PULP FRICTION

IDW/ DC (2013)

ISSUE ONE

ISSUE TWO

ISSUE THREE

ISSUE FOUR

CONCLUSION

DIESEL

ANTARCTIC PRESS (1997)

ROBOCOP: KILLING MACHINE

AVATAR PRESS (2004)

YOUNGBLOOD SUPER SPECIAL

MAXIMUM PRESS (1997)

AIRMAN

MALIBU (1993)

DEATHANGEL

LIGHTNING COMICS (1997)

CONCLUSION

ONIBA: SWORDS OF THE DEMON

ASPEN COMICS (2015)

WITCH HUNTER #1

MALIBU (1996)

ULTRAVIXEN

HOUND COMICS (2013)