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Tis the night before Christmas and on this hallowed eve…I stir through my collection for comics most esteemed.
One of my favorite things about this time of year is finding all the “best of” lists people come up with. There seems to be a tally cropping up for everything under the sun these days. Everything from mean machines to obscure cuisine is up for rating. Since this is the year for Legion of Superheroes reading, I decided to come up with my very own list of faves so far. Join me, will you: in reminiscing the highlights of our wonderous, magical journey…
My TOP 10 favorite Legion of Superheroes issues read in 2018:
Honorable mentions go to: Starboy’s amazing standoff on Xanthu in Legion Worlds #4, and the totally insane Fatal Five-hundred debacle in the Legion/Teen Titans Special. There are many more excellent highlights I could mention, and I’m sure some may argue over why The Great Darkness Saga was snubbed. But this is a list of my favorite highlights, okay?
It’s hard to pick any one singular episode as “the best”, since the Legion is so much more rewarding, when you consider it a whole, lengthy narrative. As much as I enjoy a good old epic adventure full of cosmic peril, with dozens of heroes taking part…it’s the issues exploring nuances of character, and the excellently-crafted surprises that impact me the most. Most importantly: the well-executed humor in some issues, provides a welcome reprieve after such devastating events the team has endured through.
Although there were plenty of tedious moments throughout, and the many jumps in continuity really harmed the momentum of each series; reading through this collection was a highly enjoyable experience. Hooray for 2018: the year of the Legion!
LoSH overall, grade: B.
And now: onto the last legs of our tour through Legion history…
LEGION OF SUPERHEROES: WEEK FIFTY-ONE
Legion of Superheroes (volume 4) #1-13 (2005-2006)
Written by Mark Waid.
Drawn by Barry Kitson, Kevin Sharpe, Georges Jeanty.
With back-up features, drawn by: Dale Eaglesham, Ken Lashley, Scott Iwahashi & Dave Gibbons.
Here we go again with another re-start of the same old Legion of Superheroes…except it’s not. Yes, there’s all the old standards like Cosmic Boy, Saturn Girl, Brainy and Lightning Lad; demonstrating good-deeds with their various powers. Yes, the stories still take place in the far-future and there remains such a thing as the United Planets, kept in order by the obligatory Science Police.
But there are a few subtle changes in this new-fashioned Legion. Mon-El is no longer around, for starters. Since having such a messy continuity, and not terribly bright to begin with: he’s probably better off wiped from future revisions. Colossal Boy is back from the dead; except he prefers to be called…Miniature Lad? There’s a few other cosmetic changes and alterations to some characters’ origins, but otherwise: it’s very similar to all the other old LoSH versions. They are still kids. Or, as they prefer to say in this new reality: “underagers”. Yee-ahh…sounds a bit awkward, right? “Underagers”? What teenager would refer to themselves as that? Dorks.
Oh, and there’s an opening introductory statement at the beginning of every issue. It goes like this: “Ours is an age of peace and tranquility. By the dawn of the 31 st Century, an Earth-based network of worlds has created a rigidly mannered serenity throughout the cosmos—a near utopia. All we, our parents, and their parents have ever known is security, stability and order…We’re so sick of it, we could scream.”
So, the Earth has enjoyed some peaceful prosperity for the past few hundred years. Sounds good. Terran leaders have recently reached out to other inhabited worlds to propagate this utopian ideal in the form of a United Planets consortium. Cool. The plucky, spirited kids of the Legion are used to help build good-will between all the associated planets. Okay. But these kids have a problem with all this prosperity, it seems. They have, for some unknown reason, become discontent.
Everyone is so complacent in their peaceful malaise, that the children have become frustrated within such rigid normalcy. They want to strike back at the establishment. Rebel! It’s a normal phase in “underaged” development, right? They are so mad, that they could just...what? Punch something? Run riot into the streets? Join a gang? No. They want “to scream”. What? They want to…what? Scream? That’s it? What is this, the Legion of Dairy Queens? I scream, you scream, we all scream for the Legion? What’s screaming going to do? I’m sorry: it just sounds dumb. Okay, right from page one: I find this title to be so frustratingly dorky and asinine…now I just want to scream. But I will not. All silly-sounding intros aside; let’s see what Mark Waid and the crew have got these kids all worked up over…
In this utopia-styled future, the Legion of Superheroes has become more of a sweeping ideology, rather than the exclusive club, featured in previous stories. Anyone can join, so long as you’re an “underager” who believes in effecting positive change in the universe. Of course, the Legion flight rings are so scarce, they are only issued by the elite inner-circle of the massively attended Legion-club. Essentially, the LoSH has become a cult. Cosmic Boy is their current leader. He’s so stressed about keeping the loosely associated club together while influencing UP decisions, he comes off more like one of the stuffy adults of this era, rather than a teen-aged rebel. Brainiac 5, while posing as a Cosmic Boy supporter, is apparently only interested in furthering his own agenda. The rest of the elite team is generally care-free and largely disinterested in their leader’s greater designs.
The story starts with new-recruit, Invisible Lad, joining the team and then everyone running through a transmatter portal to Lallor to fight some shock-troopers intent on stamping out some planetary rebellion. The United Planets is not pleased with the Legion’s involvement. Later, Dream Girl, Karate Kid and Shadow Lass travel to Naltor to investigate some local outbreak of sleeplessness on the planet. Once they determine the cause of this wide-spread affliction to have unnatural origins, the Legionnaires are suddenly attacked by a pair of Naltorian police officers. After besting their unexpected adversaries, Dream Girl falls unconscious and experiences a frightful premonition. In her mind, she witnesses the beginnings of an inter-galactic war among all the known planets, instigated by some mystery-man.
They decide to return to Earth and appeal to Brainy for help in identifying this strange character. After utilizing every possible method of identifying this person, however, Brainy finally concludes that this mystery-man just does not exist. Meanwhile, Triplicate Girl goes on a date with Sun Boy and reveals her close allegiance with Cosmic Boy. Sun Boy decides to quit the team to avoid getting caught up in any further drama. Cosmic Boy gets -off at Brainy for withholding information, which ignites an enduring fued between these two team-mates.
While investigating a recent disturbance on Rimworld-19; Saturn Girl, Chameleon and Lightning Lad hook up with Timberwolf to help clean up the mess. After saving a young girl from the rubble of a fallen building, the Legionnaires are confronted by a villainous group called the Terror Firma. This aptly-named team of nare-do-wells is led by a smarmy nut-job, who can control inanimate earthen objects, named: Elysion. They all fight for a while until Saturn Girl brain-blasts the villainous lot. Before they can be taken prisoner, however, a transmatter portal appears and the Terror Firma group is able to escape. Just before the portal closes, Timberwolf jumps through to chase the bad-dudes into a place called Otherspace.
Back on Earth, Cosmic Boy and Star Boy visit Princess Projectra in the private chambers of her lavish castle. Upon arrival, Projectra appears distracted by a litany of calls from her parents on Orando. They continue to implore her immediate return home. She blows her parents off and resumes focus on the immediate company. Since Projectra is super-rich, she nearly covers all the Legion expenses on her own. Cosmic Boy and Star Boy merely wish to secure some funds from the girl, but she is more interested in joining one of their inter-planetary crusades, instead. Cosmic Boy explains the danger implied by Dream Girl’s premonition and suggests she returns home, as her parents had been urging. Then, word arrives that Orando is suddenly under attack. A shield around the planet prevents the Legion from running to their aid in time to save the royal family. After Orando is totally ravage by unknown assailants, the United Planets economy crashes, and the Legion is faced with bankruptcy.
One night, while secluded in his lab, Brainy is visited by a man named Lemnos. This is the same mystery-man from Dream Girl’s vision, who will soon be responsible for the impending inter-planetary conflict. Lemnos explains his whole sick scheme to Brainiac. Then, he also explains his power to affect the memories of other beings and even technology. He can alter, augment or even wipe out any recollection he chooses. So, at the end of their conversation, he just wipes Brainy’s mind clean of any details of their interaction, and the Colu kid just resumes his regular tasks as if nothing happened. Although Brainy can’t manage to recall even this stranger’s name, he did manage to send himself a secret message during the conversation. It reads: “Colu is next”.
Once Lemnos disappears from the lab, Brainy discovers the message and grabs a team to head off to his home-world. Together with Saturn Girl, Chameleon, and Light Lass, Brainy attempts to contact his kin on Colu, but discovers the entire population is effectively brain-dead. Apparently, Lemnos has already struck: eliminating the memories of the entire population of Colu. Using his antenna, Chameleon detects Lemnos is still on the planet, and the team moves to apprehend him. Although the maniacal mind-wiper seems to be caught, he reveals to Brainy that his Terror Firma group is about to attack Earth. Unable to contact the Legion and fearing the worst, Brainy lets Lemnos go so he and his team-mates can quickly return to their headquarters.
With Brainiac 5 busy on Colu, Cosmic Boy decides to take the opportunity to ransack his lab. Believing Brainy is hiding something from him, Cosmic Boy breaks in and searches to discover anything critical, he, as team leader, might need to know. After Brainy returns to headquarters, he discovers the intrusion and freaks out. The team splits into two camps: one for Brainy and one for Cos. They bicker and spar with each other for a while, until the two finally agree to work together against the impending threat from Lemnos. Then, Dream Girl announces that she can no longer see the future. Everything in her mind concerning the the following days is just a blank.
Could there be another reality-storm afoot? Some kind of “Crisis of Infinite Zero Flashpoint Hours” here, or something? It’s DC Comics, so you know anything is infinitely possible. I forget which Crisis is when sometimes. But, no: there’s no mega-event affecting this title right now. It’s just good old Terror Firma finally arriving to blow stuff up. First, though: the Legionnaires have to spilt up. Team-one: Star Boy, Colossal Boy, Light Lass and Cosmic Boy head for Dormir. Team-two: Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, Sun Boy, Chameleon and Shadow Lass travel to Ttrxl. Team-three: Ultraboy, Projectra, Karate Kid, Phantom Girl and Triplicate Girl infiltrate Lemnos’s base in the Otherspace.
And, off they go: on their various missions, leaving only Brainiac 5, Invisible Kid and Dream Girl behind to defend Earth. Then, the Terra Firma attacks the Legion headquarters. They infiltrate the Legion fan-club mulling around outside with some suicide bombers. Then they bring in the big guns and totally wreck the Legion club-house. There’s a mass-evacuation before anyone can get seriously hurt, then a short battle with Lemnos’s terrorists. Elysion causes the entire complex to crumble to the ground. With the Legionnaires split up in four different locations, all communications cease and the transmatter portals are shut down. After the dust settles, Dream Girl is lost...
Invisible Kid searches through the rubble and eventually finds Dream Girl, dead underneath a fallen support beam. Brainy is catatonic. He secures her under a force-shield and then just sits beside her while Elysion continues his attack throughout Metropolis. Over on Dormir, the team discovers the source of the United Planet’s communication technology and contacts a sentient thought-based species. Cosmic Boy assumes control of the trans-planet network and begins to send communications to all the scattered Legionnaires. On Ttrxl, team-two defeats a reality-manipulator named Skelter and then shuts down the universe-wide transmatter tech. Back on Earth, Brainy uses a secret weapon to take out Elysion and then they all skip over to Otherspace for the final confrontation with Lemnos.
While team-three sneaks around Lemnos’s base, they eventually find Timberwolf, stuck in a confinement chamber. Projectra uses her illusion powers to manipulate the surveillance system while Phantom Girl busts him out. Then, they all locate the staging center for Lemnos’s army. Thousands of malcontents are lined up on transmatter platforms: prepared to rush through to innumerable planets in the universe and initiate the devastating war Dream Girl had envisioned. Six Legionnaires against an unfathomable-sized army? Yeah, I guess those odds are fine.
As team-three rushes into the arena to disrupt Lemnos’s plans, the rest of the Legionnaires join-up through a final-remaining portal and the battle royale begins. Lemnos witnesses the melee from his control center and dispatches the Terra Firma to counter the Legion’s attack. Sun Boy punches Lemnos out and the Terror Firma crew decides to turn on their master just as the Legion finishes mopping the floor with his army. Since Cosmic Boy now controls all inter-galactic communications, Lemnos is unable to affect anyone’s memory anymore.
Lemnos attempts to escape but Brainy pops open a portal in his way and transmatters him to his new secret lab on Earth. There, Brainy confines the war-monger in a security cell, and begins to plot out a means for reviving his beloved Dream Girl. Psst: just don't bury her in the pet sematary, green-guy. Back at the Otherspace, the Legionnaires prepare for a trip home. Brainy opens a transmatter portal for them to file through, back to Earth. Only Sun Boy remains: stating he had quit the Legion a while ago, and now he has a chance to start fresh, while working to reform the Terror Firma group into a less-hostile organization. It’s a bitter-sweet ending to the story.
Can I scream now? No? Alright…this first story arc (issues #1-13) is not terrible. There are a lot of very interesting ideas and some genuinely great points made throughout. But I think this book should have been called, “the Legion of Insufferable Brats”, rather than traditional LoSH. It’s just about a group of self-centered, super-powered children who want to fight against a peaceful society. That doesn’t sound very heroic to me.
At first, I thought I was just suffering some Legion-fatigue or maybe getting too old for these comics, anymore. But then I kept on reading the dialogue and got all cringy inside again. For example, in issue #4 while Ultraboy fights Science Police, he says: “Oh no! You started it. I finish it. Fuzzbuckets! Come back here!” And then Cosmic Boy says: “Punchus Interruptus.” Really? Eww. Why do they all sound so dorky? Whatever happened to all the good old fake-swears? Grife, this squaj is so nass! Brainy and Cosmic Boy are just as bad at being manipulative, controlling bastards, as the adults they are apparently fighting against. What a bunch of hypocrites! Element Lad is a soul-patch wearing snob. Star Boy is a doofus. I don’t like any of these characters.
On a positive note, I find a few of the back-up stories to be compelling enough to out-shine the main plot. Brainy’s first meet with Lemnos in issue #6 is suitably creepy and the Legion-cultists sifting through rubble for souvenirs in issue #11 is a poignant reminder of the impermanence of our lives. Also, the art in every issue is wonderful. Barry Kitson shows off his usual brilliance, and all the guys doing back-up and fill-in work do a tremendous job. I actually prefer the pencils in issue #9 by George Jeanty over everything Kitson drew in the series. That’s some high-praise there.
Too bad the main story just doesn’t feel like the Legion anymore. It’s all too conceptual. Like I have previously said: the LoSH doesn’t always feature the most compelling plots, but the wonderful cast of characters is what makes every scenario enjoyable to read. This Mark Waid version is too much of a departure from that formula, for my liking. Maybe he should have just created his own title with analogous characters for this thing…?
Having the kids be a bunch of insufferable snots from the jump is a strange approach to starting a new Legion comic, but there is a method to Mark Waid’s madness here. He’s exploring ideas rather than focusing on the characters. I get it. The first couple of issues are difficult to get through, but in the third, we see a re-imagined origin of Triplicate Girl that is somewhat cool and unexpected. She’s actually not just capable of triplication but infinite multiplication of herself. Years ago, after a cataclysmic event that devastated her world, she discovered the power of self-duplication. After splitting up into numerous other-selves, she set about re-building everything back to its former glory. Then, three of her “selves” traveled to Earth to join the Legion. It’s an interesting, though not terribly original (see: Jamie Madrox), concept to add to the Legion mythos.
Then, there’s Star Boy. He’s black now, for some unapparent reason. Colossal Boy: he’s not from Earth anymore. No more mysterious meteor crashing on Mars while he’s on vacation. His powers are indigenous to a race of giants on some other planet, now. That’s kinda boring. None of these characters really matter that much to the larger narrative, though, so I’m not sure what the point of all the changes is. Mark Waid just messing with us, I presume…
My favorite character of the whole story though, is Dream Girl. She used to be this frail, flirty air-head that only became useful when some advance or exposition was necessary to the plot. She never did anything very interesting before, other than prance around and give Star Boy fits. In issue #4 of this series, there is an amazing spotlight on how her powers work. She can literally see into the future all-of-the-time. This occasionally causes a bit of confusion on her part, and permanently bewilders most everyone else.
Dreamy’s not stupid. She just can’t remember if she has had, is having, or will have a conversation or experience at any given moment. Her introduction to the title is initially confusing because she keeps talking about things that will happen as if they already have. But, once you figure it out, the fun is in watching things unfold in the book, while referring-back to her previous dialogue to piece everything together. Dream Girl is such a fun character now…and then she dies. Grr. Why, Waid? Why?!
Let’s talk about Phantom Girl for a second. She exists in two different dimensions at the same time. While you may think you are having a conversation with her, she’s really talking to someone in a different place altogether. Finally: what a stroke of genius this Lemnos is! A character that routinely re-writes memories to manipulate perceptions of reality…is this a meta-comment on comics in general? I don’t care. He messes with everyone, including the reader throughout the whole story. I don’t even know if anything really happened or if it was all some memory implant from a comic book anymore! Brilliant!!
Okay, so I enjoyed the thought-puzzle aspects of the book more than anything else while reading. While, I do like the ideas that some of these characters represent…I still can’t stand how they act as people. The Legion is full of ungrateful hypocrites and seem no better than those dumb Terror Firmas they battle. Although the characters are either bland or annoying as , discovering how their powers affect interaction with each other is still fascinating. Just a little more emotional connection would be great.
This book…this frustratingly awkward, yet brilliant story…is more about concepts, memories and ideals, than it is about character-interactions or resolving conflicts. Again, I would probably like it better if it was something other than LoSH. The story is just Mark Waid using the Legion platform to say: cast away the past and don’t count on the future. What’s important is what is happening, right now. This moment is all we have. Cherish this present rather than trying to re-live what has already happened or follow what you believe might one day be. We all have an expiration date to our lives and there’s no use in taking each breath without truly experiencing it. Which is fine, and I agree to a point.
Yes, it is true that we only have this moment. Everything else is fantasy. The past and the future are important concepts to consider, however, as we live our present lives. History should be used to help inform us of where we are today. The future holds the goals and ideals of what better things may lay beyond. All thought helps us navigate through the present to find all the best possible tomorrows. And…and…it looks like Waid did create the best possible future for the Legion to live within…but they were all, still so unsatisfied.
Uhhgh! Okay, Waid: you win. You found something new and interesting to say with the Legion and it irks me to no end. It’s such a shame but true…no matter how good we have it, there is always something subjectively better to look forward to. Have you looked at your phone recently? Is the I-phone 10 really, that much better than the first device you bought? Well, maybe. Better: have I just spent an entire week railing at what I consider to be “too much of a departure for my liking”? For what?
Yes, it’s true: Mark Waid just punked me and he’s a magnificent genius. I thought he was just failing-hard at making the super-kids look heroic, but he was really aiming to show-off their hypocrisy all along…to make something that rings even truer than what I would have ever thought. Life is not about fulfilling expectations. It’s about learning and growing through new experiences and finding acceptance in the “now”. I found some unexpected things in this version of the LoSH and for that, I am grateful. And, yes…those Legion of Insufferable Brats are right to inspire a revolution. Even if it means burning down a utopian society to get it. Or at least scream at it a while. I guess being forever discontent is just a part of our collective natures. Yahieeee!!
Grade: A-scream.
And that’s it. Have a ho-ho-happy X-Mas, everybody. Stay good and warm out there. Good night all!
…
B-bu-but, LoSH #1-13…that’s only thirteen issues. Yes, I know I deprived you all the full fourteen issues this week. I will try to make it up to you on the final installment. Since it’s the season for grace and giving, please forgive me this one lapse in my usual reliable contribution. Wait, what am I saying? It’s double-December, sure; but I never promised anything about fourteen issues. It was always supposed to be one issue a day reading from the start. When did I all a sudden promise to double my review output? It must be Lemnos messing with me. I blame Mark Waid. He is evil, after all. In my opinion, I’ve been going above and beyond with the reviews already. I have nothing to apologize for!
Yeesh. Some people are never satisfied…
Next: the conclusion.
Happy Holidays, and long Live the Legion!
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