Rebirth of the Cool

GET OFFA ME!

ONE YEAR LATER!! Well, it’s certainly felt like a whole year since I last posted anything here. It’s really only been a few months, though…or like the entire summer. Yah, yah I know that I said that I would keep writing these things on a regular basis. I really meant to. Did I let you down? Maybe you can say that I was being a little “deceptive” with you or just call me a liar if you want. Everyone’s a liar. Get over it. The truth is: I’ve had a really summer. It’s been a really crazy, messed up, emotionally draining and weird summer to be exact. Where’s my pity party at? Nothing? Oh well. Let me go on: these past few months have been such a roller-coaster ride full of jealousy, betrayal, murder, crack deals, a dead cat, a missed wedding, endless tearful nights and the tragic breakup with my long-time sorta-girlfriend, I can hardly believe that I survived it. Sure, I’m mostly to blame for it all…as usual. Honestly, though: that cat was pretty old. I mean, she did carry a bucket around for the last three years so I knew she would be kicking it fairly soon. So, I can’t be blamed for that. There was just some bad timing involved with all the that went down. Did I mention that life sucks yet? I really did try to make things right, you know. I even attempted to write a few times, but it all turned into this ugly, venomous hate-filled diatribe (as opposed to what I usually write, I guess). It was just ugly, man. Like, Deadpool’s avocado- face kind of ugly. I wouldn’t want to inflict that heart-achy poison on anyone. I just kept it to myself the whole time. Actually, I probably acted like an to my ex-girlfriend for a while after she dumped me. I saved all my venom for her.

Life is complicated. At least mine is. But, you don’t have to be a about your perilous misfortunes. Look on the bright side: there’s still comics. And, let me tell you: I have been reading a lot of comics. It keeps me distracted from indulging in nefarious compulsions and certain unhealthy vices. Comics help to calm me down from emotional distressful events and I am able to regain some positivity toward life through reading them. Maybe Donald Trump should try comic books. It can’t be any worse than whatever he’s been snorting lately. So, yes: I’m feeling much better now, thanks to comics. I hope to have a full recovery and continue forward with much ramblings dedicated to the great and wonderful world of graphic literature. Now, my heart is still sore from such a jilting that occurred, so I may still be a bit sensitive toward things relating to the fairer . My confidence may be rocked and the inclination toward hermitage does seem appealing, however, I do prefer to tackle problems head-on. So, in the spirit of healthy living, I believe it is apt to just dive right into the subject of women with a positive attitude. And who better to exemplify, in the world of comics, than the most enduring female character of all: Wonder Woman!

My life with the Amazon Princess:

Wonder Woman first appeared in Sensation Comics #8, nearly 75 years ago. Her origin and subsequent adventures have been chronicled continuously ever since. By the 1970’s, she had grown to cultural iconic status; presumably due mostly to that notorious television program featuring the lovely Lynda Carter. By the time I was old enough to tie my own shoes, Wonder Woman’s image was on everything from lunch boxes to pajama bottoms. Along with her famous counterparts, Superman and Batman, the Amazon Princess defined DC Comics for a generation. To be honest, I really didn’t care for her. Wonder Woman? Really? She’s lame compared to Superman, and not nearly as tough as Batman. Besides: she’s a “girl”. What self-respecting pre-teen would be caught dead with a stupid Wussie Woman comic? I preferred Marvel back then anyway: Iron Man and Doctor Strange were my dudes. Anyway, it wasn’t until 1987 before I gave her star-spangled panties even a passing notice. Only because George Perez was writing and drawing a whole new series with this character, I decided to at least buy issue #1. And…I hated it.

In the mid-80’s, DC Comics totally revised their universe in an unprecedented way. The Crisis on Infinite Earths blew away all previous conceptions and allowed top creators to start telling fresh and relevant stories with these iconic characters. The most recognizable characters received the initial treatment, and a long, twisted new continuity was spun mercilessly from all that. I bought up everything from DC at that time. Byrne was on Superman, Frank Miller was redefining Batman, the Justice League was funny, Suicide Squad was edgy, Flash was hungry. It was an awesome time to jump onto DC continuity. The only thing I couldn’t get into was Wonder Woman. Flash forward: 8 years later and DC comics were altogether boring. Maybe I was growing out of superheroes (or so I convinced myself) or was just more interested in Dark Horse or Vertigo at the time. But, wait: there’s something interesting going on in Wonder Woman? Princess Diana no longer held the mantle? I was slightly intrigued, so I picked up a few of the Deodato issues. And…it was alright.

From the mid-1990’s on, I kept my eye on Diana. I was a grown man, after all, and there was no shame in reading girly comics, right? I had nothing to hide. Besides, maybe I had misjudged the character. Maybe Wonder Woman was actually kind of cool after all. I really didn’t know much about her character. She was made out of clay and brought to life by the gods, okay. After reading a number of issues, though, I found myself quite fond of her and the pantheon of characters that surrounded her story. She can be tough as nails, yet sweet and caring about others. She’s often conflicted between her sense of duty and her personal interests. She’s a complex and complicated character in ways that really outshines both Superman’s and Batman’s pathos. Yeah, I kind of like this girl….err person. Flash forward: another 9 years go by and I come across the beginning of one of the greatest Wonder Woman stories ever. First of all, Wonder Woman Issue #195 sports one of my all-time favorite Adam Hughes covers. There is a jet fighter pilot in the cot pit with arms out-stretched like he’s about to collide with something big and nasty, while you can see Wonder Woman about to punch his lights out in the reflection of his goggles. “Join the mission”, indeed. It’s just a brilliant cover. Then, I read the insides. And…I fell in love.

Greg Rucka wrote Wonder Woman from 2003 to the conclusion of volume two in 2006. I could go on for days, extrapolating the varied nuances Greg put into this work. I could espouse for hours on end, describing how much I enjoyed this fresh, relentlessly exciting and thought provoking run.  I will save my full accolades for another time, but for now, just point all readers to the collected volume on sale at Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Wonder-Woman-Greg-Rucka-Vol/dp/1401263321/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1475450582&sr=8-1&keywords=greg+rucka+wonder+woman+volume+1 (I receive no royalties for this endorsement). It’s really great. Just read it for yourself. It’s not all about the neck-snap, I promise. Unfortunately, while Greg was busy writing this Wonderful Opus, DC Comics decided to pull the plug on his masterful work in favor of another Crisis. Then, they brought in Allan Heinberg to bring a “fresh, new approach” to the character, in an “all-new” first issue spectacular…which was as bland as cardboard pudding. What the is wrong with DC? Greg was knocking out home-runs like Mike Trout with this character. I was in looovvveee. Tweet, tweet…sigh. them all to for taking away my girl! But, then they replaced Mister Milquetoast for Gail Simone. I was still pining away for Greg’s version of the Wonder Woman, but I couldn’t pass up a chance to read how an actual woman might interpret the character. Has any woman actually written Wonder Woman proper? Could she bring back the greatness that once was? I read a few issues. And…it was…different.

Flash forward: yet another 8 years to today. Since first reading Gail’s initial offerings to the Wonder Woman mythos, I have gone back and read most everything from the Perez issue #1 to date. I grew an even greater appreciation for the character and enjoyed everything I read (minus the Heinberg issues and a few others). I’m not sure why I originally disliked the Perez stories because they are terrific and sets up just about everything else that has come since. Byrne’s run was entertaining. Phil Jimenez is a freakishly great artist. Now, with all that back-story in mind, I have come to Gail Simone’s run once again. I can’t believe that in all this time, no woman has written the character. Was there a one-off that I had missed? Is my mind clouded by the haze of recent traumatic events? Either way, Gail provided the first significant female hand-print on the character, as far as I know, and her approach was rather interesting. She wrote issues #14 through #44 of volume three (but, I only read up to #39). The stories themselves are not very remarkable. There is the usual fisticuffs and perilous adventures in familiar locals. There isn’t anything overtly original to the story plots, unless you count the giant flying sea shell. Wait…what was the deal with that again? There is some signature Simone dark humor throughout, but not to the extent of being outrageous. I have enjoyed a number of previous stories from Gail: Villains United and Secret Six being the standouts. My : Secret Six is an adrenaline ride compared to this Wonder Woman. All the way through, I kept asking myself: what am I reading here?

I guess I have to say that Gail Simone’s Wonder Woman is not very good reading. It’s not because Gail’s a woman either. She is a terrific writer! Oh, I may still be bitter about the way my ex-girlfriend left me without hardly an explanation for it, but I am certainly not going to let that color how I read a silly little fanciful comic book. No sir, I am not bitter at all. I really like women a lot and I am very interested in what they have to say…all the time. It’s not about that. You can wrap your golden lasso around me all you want. I am not. I am not..not telling the truth. it! Gail Simone is a really, really good writer and I will definitely read anything she puts out from here to eternity. There is nothing wrong with her depiction of Wonder Woman! What really bugged me about the story she told had to do with the treatment of Tom Tresser, Nemesis. She writes Tom like a witless, bumbling fool; all while propping him up to be some master secret agent and potential suitor for Diana. He is often relegated to side-character status, yet when there is some interaction with Diana, they appear to have very little chemistry together. It’s totally unbelievable and irritating to me while reading. On the few occasions where Tom speaks with Hippolyta, the results are always cautionary against their relationship. I don’t think they have even kissed yet! What is Tom doing with these crazy (strike that) wonderful women? He seems so out of his depth, and yet he keeps hanging on. Hmm...maybe the whole thing just hits too close to home for me.

I hate break-ups. I’ve been in way too many of them. They are usually awkward and painful and result in nothing more than confusion or spite. I still don’t really understand why I was dumped. Well, yah I do: I’m an . But, really…why throw away five or six good (mostly good) years of your life with someone just because of a few bad days that may have happened in a row? I know the answer, of course. I just hate to admit that I up. As Tom Keifer from Cinderella once said: you “don’t know what you got till it’s gone”. Now, in the case of Wonder Woman expressing her desire for Tom Tresser: I never got the impression that there was anything real between them. And, in issue #32, the finally hits the fan. Diana is forced to tell Tom the truth that she never loved him, and in issue #35 he eventually breaks up with her. Tom Tresser breaks up with Wonder Woman! Like, I’m there with you, man. I’m welling the tears with you. She never even loved you, man. Tresser’s my bro now. Wonder Woman was a for lying to Tom. I can’t believe I even liked this character before. What the , Diana? What went so wrong? But, the very next issue makes it all so painfully clear, when she says: “no, Tom...not a lie. A mistake”. Fuuck meee..there goes the waterworks again. I get it. Life is complicated. We don’t always know our own feelings. People are not always who we want them to be. And we are all...just human after all.

Also, I think my ex-girlfriend wants to get back with me…umm, no she doesn’t.

Catching up (sort of) on the whole lot of reading:

DC:52 #1-52 was a bit rubbish.

World War Three #1-3 was a whole lotta rubbish.

Secret Six #1-6 was so awesome.

Crime Bible #1-5 and Checkmate #1-25 was Rucka-ing great.

Booster Gold #0-10 & One Million was super fun.

And… ohh my I have read plenty of other comics too. Too tired to list anymore. More reviews and finish the list next time (if there is a “next time” moo-ha ha…Jk).

October Reading:

Green Lantern (2005) #1-20

Green Lantern Corps: Recharge #1-5

Green Lantern Corps #1-13

Time to “man-up”, I guess…