You Know I Couldn't Last

Please Grant me this one last chance.

I just now found out that Grant Morrison is a huge piece of . No, not that once “wunderkind” and sometimes maligned for being too obscure Scottish comic book writer, Grant Morrison. The guy may have written a large quantity of questionably indecipherable dreck and some other arguably brilliant tales over the past 30 years, but he’s still pretty much okay in my book. I actually did like the whole of Multiversity for what it was. The Grant Morrison I’m talking about here is the Billings Montana police officer who just flat-out shot two unarmed people to death over the past couple of years. Check it out here: http://www.dailykos.com/story/2015/01/09/1356607/-Montana-officer-Grant-Morrison-shoots-and-kills-his-second-unarmed-man-No-charges-in-either-case#. Holy , Billings Montana: what the is going on out there? Has Grant Morrison totally gone batshit insane or what? I mean, Final Crisis was really, really bad; but you don’t have to go “mag-dump” on a fool just cause of the ignorant backlash, Grant! Come on! Oh yah, wrong Morrison. Anyway, I once slept on a cardboard box at the rail-yard in Billings. Good times. But, that’s a story for another day.

Sincerely, I’m not really that interested in ranting over some amped up cop going all Dirty Harry in the heartland right now (there is plenty of fodder for that subject matter on other forums), I would rather just focus on the more humane comic book writer version of the man named “Grant Morrison”. You know: the guy who doesn’t actually “kill” other people, but may have been accused of killing your interest in following some certain comic book titles over the past few years. Yah, that guy! I’ve been following the enigmatic Scotsman since first entering his “serious house on serious earth” Arkham Asylum Graphic Novel way back in 1989. To my then more innocent eyes, the visuals from Dave McKean were so dramatically striking that the somewhat simplistic pseudo-psychology involved in the actual story was left fairly without scrutiny at the time. I was so excited about this unique take on Batman and his rogues in Arkham, that I began to seriously follow Morrison onto the various titles he worked on afterward. I was really serious about it.

In fact, I was so impressed with that first experience with Grant’s storytelling, I wound up reading pretty much everything Mister Morrison has written in the medium since. I even tracked down the Quality Zenith reprints, St. Swithin’s Day and such. , I got to be a real Morrison for a while there: Magdalena style. Then came “The Filth”. Uhhgh…don’t get me started on the Filth. Bleghh. I feel sick all of a sudden. What? Huh? Oh, yah: let’s just back up a minute. In certain comics, such as We3, All Star Superman and Mystery Play, Grant shows an uncanny ability to infuse enormous heart into an otherwise bizarre, fantastic scenario. It’s very impressive what he does there. When writing with skillful focus, Grant is able to engage one’s heart mind and soul in such a unique way that the affect is very powerful to the reader. The synergy he enjoys with a select few accomplished artists, and most notably the one and only Frank Quitely, is really beautiful to behold. Other times, such as with the Filth or Final Crisis (and no slight to the talented artists on those projects), it feels as though Grant tries to cram too many ideas into such a limited space that he forgets to find the heart of the actual story; which just results in a devolved conceptual mess. Like, a hurggughruggh huggah dry heave sort of mess. Lovely, innit? Although I don’t consider Morrison to be the most absolute all-star best comics’ writer in the world, I have genuinely found his general body of work to be mostly entertaining and often quite daring and thought provoking overall. Love him or hate him, there is no doubt that Grant Morrison has made a definite mark in the history of the comics’ medium. So what’s next for this rather unique individual in comics?

According to Grant, in a Bleeding Cool interview, back on July 24, 2012; (http://www.bleedingcool.com/2012/07/24/tuesday-runaround-grant-morrison-to-leave-superhero-comic-behind-in-2013/) Mister Morrison has been done with creating superhero comics for some time now. Even though his Multiversity line finally just dropped earlier this year, and the Wonder Woman thing yet to come, Grant has already moved on to other projects; including a recent gig as EIC of Heavy Metal magazine, no less (http://nerdist.com/grant-morrison-heavy-metal-wonder-woman-earth-one-comic-con-2015/). In recent interviews, Grant has explained that he has all but exhausted his previous interest in penning outlandish spandex tales in favor of other, more high-profile opportunities. According to Grant: “I think I’ve kind of worked through everything I’ve ever felt about these characters. It was a bit like going to the psychiatrist and lying on the couch for just long enough to realize “What was I thinking?” [Laughs] I don’t know. I know there are plenty of different ways to use them, but right now I feel like I’m coming to the end of a long intensive period where I was talking about certain ideas using the language of superheroes, if that makes any sense. I want to try out some new ideas and explore the opportunities that keep coming up to write novels and screenplays.” So keep your eyes open for more flashes of unfocused brilliance from this crazy Scotsman in various formats and stages other than superhero commix, oh you wonderful perverse kids, you. Personally, I’m just excited to see what the man comes up with next. You go, Grant!

That said, I know there are still some who have totally checked out from the Grant Morrison camp by now. Some people are still yet feeling some sickly-slithering “once bitten, twice shy” type of vibe on the guy. And, I get that. But it’s still such a shame, really, because I’m sure Grant Morrison is a perfectly good police officer. I’m really convinced: those guys he killed must have totally had it coming to them. I have no doubt that if the right hand of the law tells you to put your hands in the air, you better well be reaching for the sky, right? This is no time to be messing around. Oh, right: I was talking about the other Grant Morrison wasn’t I? Yah, the guy who started out with Animal Man and Doom Patrol and proceeded to disillusion many a comic book fan by infiltrating the mainstream DC Universe with his overtly crazy hyper-meta-style. Yah, that Morrison is much worse than some trigger-happy officer of the law. He should be forever smitten by the hashtag backlash for all eternity for what all he’s done. My take on the whole rise and fall of comic book writer Grant Morrison is that he has been a victim of his own affection for the medium. He is really just an over-enthusiastic fan-boy with delusions of grandeur; and we, as fellow fans, saw his initial potential and elevated his stature from our ranks just because he was a marginally better writer than the rest of our slobbering mass. Then, when he was unable to fulfill our vicarious desires to see a fellow fanboy achieve the pinnacle of comic godhood, we quickly sought out to utterly destroy him. To that end, Grant Morrison is just a bizarre version of some next-gen Jim Shooter. See What I did there, kids? Bang, bang!

If Alan Moore is comics’ equivalent to , then Grant Morrison must be comic book Jesus. Grant is the earnest son; staving off rabid followers at every pass, on his way to being ultimately crucified by the uncaring governing machine for becoming too influential and yet too unconventional for comfortable mass consumption. Kind of like some random guy pulled out of his car for a broken tail-light and then shot to death. Umm…yeah: awkward analogy, I guess. Hmm… We want to see a sign from Morrison, and yet he just gives us some seemingly incoherent mess at every pass. We hates that! Aww, ! He affected us with his early works so much that we want him to either save us from our own mediocrity or just die a horrible death. Die, Morrison, die! And yet, Grant Morrison only seems to be concerned with his own personal mission through it all. And we hate him for that too. We, the fans call him “pretentious” and a “hack” because he does not deliver us with the fan-approved gifts we expect. Our fannish needs are only teased at and ultimately dumped in favor of some strange aborted visage of things we never wanted. It’s like coal in our stockings and we are collectively . We are the consumers after all. We is important. We have rights with dollars to prove it. The writers must entertain us in the mode of our collective bidding, for sakes! Jesus, Grant Morrison: why can’t you just be a normal writer and bring us good Superman stuff like we know you can do? Cut out that hyper-time half-baked goofy nonsense already! We need to make sure the Crisis means something after all. Alas, “then in the end, your royalties bring you luxury…the squalor of the mind…” And we hate him even more for that too. Jesus, Grant Morrison is such an over-rated hack! Let’s all oust him from his over-inflated perch. Hurrah!

Alas, Grant Morrison has now fulfilled his personal pledge to comic-fan society but he has still yet to earn the proper approval from his father. From what I have read, Alan Moore considers Grant Morrison to be less than a squished bug stuck upon his boot heel. A pity. To strike an equivalent analogy: the gospel of Matthew and Mark cite Jesus’ final words as “My , my , why have you forsaken me?” Grant has recently been lambasted by comic fans, and critics alike for his recent, less than accessible works as well. As a follower of Grant Morrison for a number of years, I see his recent stories as a continuation of the meta-infused storytelling he introduced in smaller-scope works such as Animal Man and Doom Patrol many years ago. Multiversity has some very effective and powerful moments integrated into a scheme much grander in scale than his earlier works. I can appreciate his intent, although like most, I found myself somewhat unsatisfied with the final execution. I’m sure it’s no easy task to place a whole multiverse on your back and convince everyone in fandom to follow. Just ask Hickman. Ultimately, Grant Morrison is an adequate, brave, somewhat over-extending, sometimes brilliant, other-times self- indulgent yet always interesting story teller who is also a life-affirming descent human being who has not actually killed anyone to my knowledge. And for that, I thank him. Grant, the comic book writer, deserves some credit for what he has accomplished as much as what he has attempted is service to us fans. In his myriad failures, Grant will never fully live up to his idol (and for allegory sake: “father-figure”), but I for one have enjoyed every audacious attempt he has made. According to the holy texts: after three days from his crucifixion, Jesus ascended from his grave to ultimately reach the heavens. Here’s hoping Grant Morrison can also one day return to even greater heights of his storytelling potential.

That, and Alan Moore seriously needs to give this guy a break one day…or not. Their rivalry may eventually produce some truly awesome material from both of them one day. Onward and onto the future, I say; you great and amazing imaginations! As for that poor Montana cop: grow a pair you douche! Seriously find another carrier if you can’t properly deal with a dude without drawing your boomstick at every flinch. the cops these days...seriously.

This month I am so very lame and didn’t bother to read anything from the old comic stack. I suck and will take forty lashes from anyone who cares to punish me for such an evil infraction. All I can say is: I’m just glad my name is not Grant Morrison at this point. That dude gets too much grief. I’m getting close to being there though, by all accounts. Please pray for me, you dirty Philistines! More next time.

Adios!